Searching for Jesus

The last week has just sorta flown by. My parents and one of my brothers and his family came to visit us for Christmas. It has been such a wonderful time for our family. But that's not what I really want to share about. Last Wednesday night was the church candle light service and children's play. It was amazing!!! Let me just say that right now, simply amazing!
But it was what happened before the service started that really caught my heart. You see we attend church with our best friends, Michael and Martha (Marty) Short. They have two children on autism spectrum as well. Their daughter, Lucy, bless her heart is very nervous and scared of large crowds of people and noise. Many children who are on the spectrum are. Well before service started it was rather chaotic in the sanctuary, we had people talking, hugging, laughing, kids moving around trying to prepare for the play, just nuts to be honest. As I was sitting there watching everything going on I saw Lucy pushing past people to get to the front. Now first of all that is HIGHLY unusual to even see her in the sanctuary and not upset by everything but there she was whispering about something I couldn't hear pushing past the people.
As I was watching her she went straight up to where the manger scene would be. By this time I was up walking towards her to help her if she were to get too scared by everything. That's when I noticed and heard what she was searching for. She went straight to the manager and was saying, "where is baby Jesus." "Where is baby Jesus?" She pushed past the people, past her fears, all in search of Jesus.
It has really had a profound affect on me and I have been pondering what I saw for the last week. How many times do we allow our fears to hinder us from finding Jesus in the midst of our circumstances? I guess the question is really for me..."what is stopping me from going forward and searching for Jesus in the midst of my (our) circumstances?" FEAR! Yes I said it, it's fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of what will be asked of me, fear of the emotional or mental pain that may come about if I do find Him. Oh I know He is the God of peace and healing. But sometimes the pain of the healing process seems to great for me to face. Just being honest here!
I don't know if I want to walk through the process of pain to get to the healing. I know I need to face it, come to the reality of it and break through it. I just want the healing to take place and not the painful stuff that goes with it.
For the last couple of years I have been picking out a word to focus on for the year. First year it was perspective and last year it was focus. This year I am still praying about but I do believe I know what my word is going to be and I will share it in a few days. It's a word I am struggling with so I am not sure I really want to focus on that one word for the year or not.
Anyway, I want to challenge you as I am myself by asking you...Are you searching for the Baby Jesus this year? or are you allowing the pain to stop you? I shared this quote earlier this month and wanted to share it again...
“We’re not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” –C.S. Lewis

CS Lewis Quote

Saw this posted tonight on Facebook. Thought this pretty much summed up my thoughts of this year...

“We’re not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” –C.S. Lewis

Line to See Jesus

With just two weeks till Christmas I am sure you have spent time shopping whether in the mall or in other stores. This Christmas for us will be much smaller than we have done in the past. Oh the kids will have a good Christmas when it comes to presents. Let's just say having large families with aunts/uncles, grandparents and friends that love your kids helps in that! This year for the first time in our marriage we will not be able to bless other families. Every year since Sean and I started dating and into our marriage, we have adopted a family in need and blessed them at Christmas with a food basket and with presents for each family member. Sometimes with multiple gifts.
This year we do not have that ability and to be honest it is breaking my heart! You see this year we barely have enough to purchase one or two gifts for each of our children. There are no gifts for friends or other family member. This year for the first time ever our kids were placed on the Angel Tree by someone at the school. I am not angry about it, humbled yes, sad yes, grateful yes. This has been the most humbling time in our lives. I can't remember if I shared the gift of a hair cut on here or not but a few weeks ago a close friend took me to get my hair cut. She just wanted to bless me, knowing that I could not afford to even go and do that. I was humbled by that and to be honest I was at a point of no hope, just sadness. But that hair cut really changed that for me. You see the gift of a hair cut made me realize that nothing ever stays the same. It was like a NORMAL event in life. Having things back to normal and being able to afford the "normal" things in life is something I am longing for. Things weren't suppose to be this way. I guess this is the new normal for a while and as long as we are serving God then He has a purpose for this season in our lives.
As you are out shopping for that "one perfect gift" remember the only true perfect gift is Jesus! A friend shared this song, never heard it before but it really is a beautiful song!

Martha Munizzi - Your Latter Will Be Greater

First time I have heard this song. It is a powerful song and just what I needed this morning! We have some exciting things taking place and when I am free to share I will. I may not share it here but on my other Family Blog. It concerns our son Kristofer who is autistic and what we believe God is about to do for him. When we see it happen I will then share. We would ask that you pray that God's favor be upon him and that in this opportunity come about.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Make Your Petitions Know

ok Lord I have been taught to "make my petitions known" to You. So here goes...Lord I am asking you to provide our basic needs; shelter, food and clothing for each of our children and for Sean and I. I praise You for doing so and I trust You to continue. Lord let our lives glorify You. Let this season we are walking THROUGH glorify you. Despite the storms that blow...like Sean's car needing a repair that we can not afford...we shall praise YOU! Despite the storms that rage...like the bill collectors wanting paid and we have no resources...still we will praise You. Despite the thunder of the storms we are facing YOU SHALL FOREVER receive our praise. Lord as you have promised and we stand upon Your word, we ask that provide for our needs and cover the rest with your grace. As you provide we will give You praise...and should You chose to refrain we will still praise You!

Waiting! Patiently Waiting!

This poem was with my devotional today. It truly speaks to the heart of this season in my life, our family's life. Thankful to day for all He has done and all He will do on my behalf!

Waiting! Yes, patiently waiting!

Till next steps made plain shall be;
To hear, with the inner hearing,
The Voice that will call for me.

Waiting! Yes, hopefully waiting!
With hope that need not grow dim;
The Master is pledged to guide me,
And my eyes are unto Him.

Waiting! Expectantly waiting!
Perhaps it may be today
The Master will quickly open
The gate to my future way.

Waiting! Yes, waiting! still waiting!
I know, though I've waited long,
That, while He withholds His purpose,
His waiting cannot be wrong.

Waiting! Yes, waiting! still waiting!
The Master will not be late:
He knoweth that I am waiting
For Him to unlatch the gate.
--J. D. Smith

Not here today

So I was going to post something here to day but decided I really wanted to post it over here instead. So if you want to go to Pastoring Partners Network you can read up on Christmas Messes there.

Friends

I have the BEST friends in the world. Oh I have quite a few that are close friends, in which I have shared many of the best and worst life experiences. This week has been such a long week filled with disappointments left and right. In fact there have been times this week that I have wanted to find a hole and bury myself in. Oh I know you can't run from the problems in your life. In fact the best things to do is to place it in His hands and let Him deal with it. But this week was just filled with lots of sickness, closed doors, financial attacks (yes attacks because it is satan's way of distracting us the fastest!) and just sadness and not just from my own feelings. It seems as though our oldest has been dealing with sadness of missing his friends as well.
So today was a breath of fresh air for me. I spent a few hours with one of my best friends from college and her kids. It is always nice to just sit and talk. We always enjoy each others company and the kids all love each other greatly! Then later this afternoon, my other best friend came over with her son and we had a great time working on a project together for my parents and Sean's mom. I would share what I am up to but I am unsure if my parents read this blog or not. I will share in a few weeks. It's something for Christmas.
Anyway I am thankful for my friends today. They have been a true blessing through the last few months...year. Never take your real friends for granted!

Hold Me Jesus!

Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees
And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin
I'm singing hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

by Rich Mullins

Sigh....

Lord come to my rescue...come to our rescue!
We need you more than ever before!
We need you!!

Another Closed

Ok so the theme of this weekend besides sickness (since Friday I have had 3 kids get the stomach flu including myself and this bug is terrible!!!) has been closed doors. Not only did we receive a letter Sat about a church we had applied to ending the candidating process with us, but we received another word last night of the same nature. Just being honest here, a year of rejection when it comes to sending out resumes, answering a billion questions ~ some extremely personal, moving in faith believing God to open up doors to ministry here in KY and now being in a financial storm what seems to be full of hurricane winds is becoming draining. Despite all that we have endured the last year; the hurtful words and actions of other against our family, the transitions, changes, hard decisions ect... moving here was the best decision and we have a peace that passes all understanding. We know that we know we are to be in KY and that has not changed and will not change unless it is a God changed desire.
As for what is next...WHO KNOWS! Only God does. I only know that I will stand on this scripture for now...

“But as for me, I will look to the Lord and confident in Him I will keep watch; I will wait with hope and expectancy for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me." Micah 7: 7

As well as:

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans for a future filled with hope!” Jer 29:11

Closed Doors

This is my status on Facebook today..."Despite another closed door I will praise you Lord for keeping us under Your wing of protection and for having something much greater for us to do!" Yes I do mean it but honestly another closed door to ministry ~ REALLY?!? Seriously, what is it that these church pulpit committees are not seeing in all of his answers and resume? I just don't get it. Seriously I just don't get it. My husband is a great pastor, preaches the Word of God and doesn't stray from what it says. He doesn't twist the word, he is a man of integrity and he loves the Lord and his congregations with everything he has. I just don't get it.
I will praise the Lord, for this does not warrant anything else as a response except that. This disappointment is just another disappointment it's not death and it's not that He has forsaken us. He has protected us from something and apparently God has other plans for us. I just wish I knew what they were. I wish I knew how to encourage my husband because he is feeling very defeated right now. :(
Lord open the doors that only you can open and shut the doors only you can shut and in the mean time help me to help my husband!

Shawn McDonald - Open Me

So last night was a special night for one of my best friends, Marty. The ladies of her church which is becoming our church for now, threw her a surprise birthday party. I was so neat to see how much she is loved and supported, something I would have loved to of had in our previous ministries. It was just such a blessed night. One of her long time friends played the following song and said as she has watch Marty's life over the years this song is a a perfect life song for her. It really ministered to me and I wanted to share it with you. I have never heard it before but I can tell you it is definitely worth the time to listen to and let it sink deep into your soul.



Shawn McDonald - Open Me

Would You open up eyes, so I can see
Would You open up my ears, so I can hear
Would You open up my mind, so I can know
Would You open up my heart, so I could love You more

I want to serve You, my God
I want to give All of Me,
I want to serve You, my King, yeah
I want to serve You, my Lord
I want to give You everything, yeah

Would You open up eyes, so I can see
Would You open up my ears, so I can hear
Would You open up my mind, so I can know
Would You open up my heart, so I could love You more

I want to serve You, my God
I want to give You everything
I want to serve You, my King, yeah
I want to serve You, my LOrd
I want to give You everything, Yeah

Here I am with my arms open wide
Asking for You to come up, up inside
Won't You make me new, won't You make me true?
Jesus, won't You make me like You?

Would You touch my eyes, so I can see
Would You touch my ears, so I can hear
Would You touch my mind, so I can know
Would You touch my heart, so I could love You more

Won't You open me
Won't You open me, open me
Won't You open me, open me
Won't You open me

Word of God Speak

I know that I have posted this song on this blog before but today when I woke up it was on my mind and has been all morning. I think it's because my soul longs to hear His voice right now. I need to know what His plans are, I need His guidance and direction. I need to hear His voice say, "It's going to be ok!" "I got this!" I know He does but sometimes you need to hear Him say it, you need to feel His presence and rest in it. That is where I am today. I NEED Him! I need to hear Him and I need clear direction. Besides the up front issues we are dealing with financially and in this holding pattern concerning ministry (a place of rest right now is nice), I personally am working through some private matters that the Holy Spirit is bringing up to the surface. Ya know sometimes when you are open for God to touch and use you, impurities in the clay rise to the surface and must be removed.
Broken Potterie...the reason I named this blog this is because I want to stay broken (humble) before the Lord so that He can use me the way He needs to. But want Him to work out the impurities and hurts. But going through that process is tough stuff! SO today as I sit and wait on Him to speak to me I will rest in the knowledge that what was meant for evil in my past is meant for His glory now and in the future. Thank You Lord that you were in my past holding me, and you are in my present holding me and will be in my future holding me!

Thoughts

So many thoughts running through my head. Lord what are You up to? I need some direction. I need to know what steps to take next. Which way to turn, which way to go. Lord I will follow You, I trust Your plan! Just lead me and I will follow. Speak to me and I will listen. Give me the ears to hear and the heart to receive. I long to hear Your voice, I long to feel Your touch. I long to know Your heart for my family and me. Speak to me Lord! Give me clarity of mind to know Your plan.
Just my thoughts during prayer today...this week...this month. I love the Psalms and how David was so open and to the point when he prayed. He just said it like it was. Simple statements. Simple prayers. And God always heard him. God always hears us too...it's just the waiting for His answers that always gets me.

LORD I CAN'T MAKE IT WITHOUT YOU

Found this song by accident today...ok so maybe it wasn't an accident but I surely wasn't searching for it. I am not into gospel on a regular basis, I enjoy Bluegrass and Country though on occasion as well. Anyway I thought it was a beautiful song and really touch my heart today.

Needing You Lord

I started this blog as a place to just write out some thoughts and feelings. Things God is showing me and a place to just vent. Not many follow this blog and that is fine by me. Honestly I don't blog for others, if someone by chance finds it and something I write ministers to them that is great and if not that is just fine too. Right now is the toughest time we have ever gone through. Ok well one of the toughest. THE TOUGHEST was when we lost our first son. Right now we are sorta just out here. We packed up our family, resigned from pastoring the church in IL and moved to KY because we felt that is what God told us to do. We are holding on by a thread. Seriously we know God called us to KY. We have never been happier about being back "home" but I have to tell you there are many days I ask God, "Have we missed a step, have we missed what You were telling us to do?" We are barely making it financially! Well to be honest we aren't making it. I have not found a job despite all the applications and resumes sent out. Sean has finally gotten a job and we are ever so grateful for that but it is barely covering the rent and utilities. Forget about any other debts we might have. We have never been at a place like this ever and I HATE IT! Oh I know God is watching out for us and I know He is providing, I see it daily but this stepping out of the boat and walking on the water is the HARDEST thing I have ever done.
We have 4 children and I just keep reminding God that they are innocent bystanders in this walk that we have taken. They didn't ask to move, and they didn't ask for us to be in this terrible financial place. What were thinking 5 years ago when we decided to move from Florida to IL and now here....Sometimes I just wonder. My faith that God has a plan and is providing is not wavering I trust in Him. But that doesn't mean I don't wonder where He is right now in the midst of this journey that seems more like a storm.
Don't comment or email me telling me all the cliches like "He is there walking with you through this" or "He is the plan maker" or any other statement that is easy to say when you aren't walking through this or have never walked through this. What I need is to SEE God moving on our behalf in a BIG WAY! I need to see the break through. I am weary and need God to come and BREAK down the walls and open the doors! We are trusting Him to do this and to show us HIS plan because right now what we thought or think doesn't matter anymore. We need answers now and not tomorrow. We need a break through, we need a miracle!
God where are you?

In Your Presence

All day I have been singing this song, well the first verse that is. I just could not remember the rest. So I looked it up and found this video and the lyrics. I hope you will read and listen let the words sink into your spirit.



In Your Presence by Paul Wilbur

IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD

I WHAT TO GO
WHERE THE RIVERS CANNOT OVERFLOW ME
WHERE MY FEET ARE ON THE ROCK
I WANT TO HIDE
WHERE THE BLAZING FIRE
CANNOT BURN ME
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD

IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD

I WANT TO HIDE
WHERE THE BLOOD OF EVIL
CANNOT REACH ME
WHERE I'M COVERED BY THE BLOOD
OF THE LAMB
I WANT TO BE
WHERE THE SCHEMES OF DARKNESS
CANNOT TOUCH ME
IN YOUR PRESENCE OF GOD

IN YOUR PRESENCE
THATS WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD

YOU ARE MY FIRM FOUNDATION
I TRUST IN YOU ALL DAY LONG
I AM YOUR CHILD AND YOUR SERVANT
AND YOU ARE MY STRENGTH AND MY SONG
YOUR MY SONG, YOUR MY SONG

IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD

SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD

IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE, OH GOD

Thanks, Thanks, I give you Thanks!

Just taking a moment to say thank you Lord! Thank you for always being here for me. Through the small and large struggles, through the rain and the might forceful storms You have been here for me. You always provide! You always hear! You always come through! Lord even through this journey we are on I will praise You. I will do my best to not look at our circumstance and will look for YOU in the midst of them. Lord I want to see You moving on our behalf! You want the best for our family and You want the best for our ministry. We will wait upon you, seeking you for the guidance you have for us. Seeking You for the answers. For it is only in You that we have peace and it's only in You that we place our trust. Thank you Lord for the blessings you have bestowed upon our family. Thank you for the friends we have, for our family, for the job you have blessed Sean with. For provision. Lord we trust You will open the doors that need to be opened and close the doors that are not good for us. Jesus complete in us in this journey what needs to be completed according to Your will! Let it be done on earth as it is in Heaven! Thank you Lord!

The word tells us to count your blessings. IN fact there is a song we teach the kids... Count your blessings name them one by one, count your blessing see what God has done, Count your blessings name them one by one...
You see today I could sit back and dwell on the things that have NOT happened and have NOT taken place. But instead I am choosing to count my blessings...I challenge you to do the same.

I Call You by Rita Springer

He's Already Provided

Plain and Simple

Psa 70:5 ~ I am poor and needy, but you, the LORD God, care about me. You are the one who saves me. Please hurry and help!

I love how David puts it very plain and simple... “Lord God please hurry and help!” How many times have we prayed this same simple prayer? I know I have many times, in fact lately it seems this is exactly what I say, “Lord you promise to care for me, you promise to provide my needs from physical needs such as food to healing. Lord please hurry and help!” You see we are living out our faith in a very, very real way. We moved here on faith believing God has a plan and purpose for us here. We have been watching the Lord provide in every aspect of this move.
We prayed for a home that had 4 bedrooms and my heart’s desire was for a dishwasher. What did God supply? A home with 4 bedrooms with extra room that we plan to make into a big game room and a dishwasher! I had found a certain couch at a local store (in IL) and it was listed for $400 no way was I going to pay that. Went back the same week we were moving and got the same couch for $45! God provided again! We have been praying for jobs since getting here and Sean started a job this week. I have a few other prayers that will remain between the Lord and me but have faith He will answer them. Last night I was praying specifically for Him to provide for our needs. This morning Sean came home from work and brought this large bag in from work that was given to the workers, that was filled with snacks and juice boxes…all the things I needed for lunches for the kids! Thank you Lord!
Right now the biggest news I can post at this point is that this Sunday is a huge day for our family! You see we moved here without jobs or ministry. God opened the door to a job for Sean this week. On Sunday he will be preaching and after the evening service if the Lord sees fit and the church members believe it’s the Lord’s will, then we will become the new pastors of this wonderful church. It is all in God’s hands and we will wait and see how God moves. He has been faithful up to this point and we know He is going to stay faithful. Even if this door to ministry closes we must stand on His word and know He is looking out for our family and will open doors elsewhere.
So if you are reading this could I please ask you to pray with us and for us! For God to open the doors He sees fit and to provide for our immediate needs and without going into detail we have many. So as David says, “Lord you care for me, please hurry and help!”

A Little Worship

Focus

~ The Bible describes it very well in these scriptures ~

"Keep looking straight ahead, without turning aside. Know where you are headed, and you will stay on solid ground. Don't make a mistake by turning to the right or the left." Proverbs 4:25-27

Something my dear friend Michele has done for me the last month and a half has repeatedly sent me a Facebook message of FOCUS! Just to remind me! Many times I needed that word because I wasn't focused and I wasn't looking at Jesus! i was too caught up in the worries of tomorrow, the what if this doesn't happen or does. The Bible tells us to :not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worries of their own." We took a GIANT leap of faith...in fact I have told many it has felt like we are jumping off the top of Mt Everest without a safety net but once again my friend reminded me, "God will never leave you or forsake you." He will be there to catch you and instead of letting you splatter on the ground He will help you to soar! It hasn't been easy to keep that focus through this walk of mighty faith we have taken but I gotta tell ya to see how things are unfolding and how His hand has been on every step is exciting! Thank you lord for just being YOU!

UGH!

Seriously God?! Seriously? I get excited about something and then a wall gets thrown up that seems impossible to get through, over, around, or under. God you are gonna just have to push this wall down for me cause I just don't have the strength this time!

I know the plans I have for you
I know just what you're going through
So when you can't see
what tomorrow holds
And yesterday is through,
Remember I know,
the plans I have for you

I know the plans I have for you
I know just what you're going through
So when you can't see
what tomorrow holds
And yesterday is through,
Remember I know,
the plans I have for you

To give you hope for tomorrow
Joy for your sorrow
Strength for everything you go through
Remember I know the plans I have for you

Do I Trust You, Lord

Going through some tough times, doing a
lot of wondering what God is up to.
Came across these song lyrics and they
really ministered to me tonight.

*********************************************
Sometimes my little heart can’t understand
What’s in Your will what’s in Your plan
So many times I’m tempted to ask You why
But I can never forget it for long
Lord what You do could not be wrong
So I believe You even when I must cry

Chorus:
Do I trust You Lord does the robin sing
Do I trust You Lord does it rain in Spring
You can see my heart You can read my mind
And You’ve got to know I would rather die
Than to lose my faith in the One I love
Do I trust You Lord?
Do I trust You?

I know the answers I’ve given them all
But suddenly now I feel so small
Shaken down to the cavity in my soul
I know the doctrine and theology
But right now they don’t mean much to me
This time there’s only one thing I’ve got to know

Chorus 2:
Do I trust You Lord does the river flow
Do I trust You Lord does the North wind blow
You can see my heart You can read my mind
And You’ve got to know I would rather die
Than to lose my faith in the One I love
Do I trust You Lord
Do I trust you

Chorus 3:
I will trust You Lord when I don’t know why
I will trust You Lord ‘til the day I die
I will trust You Lord when I’m blind with pain
You were God before and You’ll never change
I will trust You, I will trust You Lord
I will trust You Lord
I will trust You, I will trust You Lord
I will trust You Lord
I will trust You, I will trust You Lord
I will trust You Lord

Get up and stop bellyachin’!

How many times do we get ourselves in situations that are tough and then lay on the ground begging God to do something or blaming Him for the situation? When it was our fault the whole time. This is exactly what Joshua does after the Israelite army runs in fear from the soldiers of Ai.

Joshua 7:4-10(CEV)
Joshua sent about three thousand soldiers to attack Ai. But the men of Ai fought back and chased the Israelite soldiers away from the town gate and down the hill to the stone quarries. Thirty-six Israelite soldiers were killed, and the Israelite army felt discouraged. Joshua and the leaders of Israel tore their clothes and put dirt on their heads to show their sorrow. They lay face down on the ground in front of the sacred chest until sunset. Then Joshua said: Our LORD, did you bring us across the Jordan River just so the Amorites could destroy us? This wouldn't have happened if we had agreed to stay on the other side of the Jordan. I don't even know what to say to you, since Israel's army has turned and run from the enemy. Everyone will think you weren't strong enough to protect your people. Now the Canaanites and everyone else who lives in the land will surround us and wipe us out.
The LORD answered: Stop lying there on the ground! Get up!

I love how God answers this, just get up and stop it (my version). Ok so not when it is me He may be talking to but today during my morning devotional His answer actually made me laugh. It sounds like something I have said to my kids before when they have thrown themselves on the floor and lay there whining and complaining. Has God ever said that to you? He has me and I can tell you when He has I have not liked it one bit! A reprimand from the Lord is NEVER pleasant but if take what He says and follow His word His blessings will follow us. Later in this
chapter we read, “Then the Lord stopped being angry with Israel.”(Jos 7:26) But this did not happen until the Joshua followed the orders that God gave him concerning the situation that had gotten them to this place.
Our Heavenly Father wants only the best for us. It is our decision whether we will follow His plans for our lives. He is just like an earthly Father in that He disciplines us when needed, comforts us and loves us. Are you in need of a word like this today… “Stop lying there on the ground! GET UP!” What are you laying there complaining about? God has a plan for you stop complaining and start praying!

The title of this blog

so fits how I feel right now. It just seems like the more I press in the more I am broken down. A friend of mine posted the following video/song on Facebook tonight and it states what I feel right now. I surrender all Lord I do I do! Despite what I am feeling and how crush I am I know you shall get the glory! Lord, I am trusting you!

My Heart Song today

Our God is Great by Chris Tomlin

Water You turned into wine
Open the eyes of the blind
There’s no one like You
None like You
Into the darkness You shining
Out of the ashes we rise
There’s no one like You
None like You

CHORUS
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…

Into the darkness you shining
Out of the ashes we Rise
There’s no One like You
None like You.

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…

BRIDGE
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who can ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…

Restore Me

by Jason Ingram

Restore me, I would have no way
But your's my Lord,
Restore me, like the eagle
Spreads it's wings and soars,
I will lift my faithless heart
To a God who's love is pure.
Resting in your arms I am secure.
Restore me

I lift my prayer to a God who waits to hear
Each groan that I call out in His Name.
I'm standing here in silence
I wait for You to speak
For Your whisper heals me with one word

Restore me, I would have no way
But your's my Lord,
Restore me, like the eagle
Spreads it's wings and soars,
I will lift my faithless heart
To a God who's love is pure.
Resting in your arms I am secure.
Restore me

I lift my prayer to a God who waits to hear
Each groan that I call out in His Name.
I'm standing here in silence
I wait for You to speak
For Your whisper heals me with one word

Restore me, I would have no way
But your's my Lord,
Restore me, like the eagle
Spreads it's wings and soars,
I will lift my faithless heart
To a God who's love is pure.
Resting in your arms I am secure.
Restore me

Edge:
You bring me love, You bring me peace
You lift me high on eagles wings

Worship is the ONLY thing...

I tuned into the church service of Lift Church (formerly known as Venice A/G in Florida where we were on staff for 3 1/2 years) tonight due to Eli being really sick with a high temp. Anyway, something that Pastor Gary stated tonight really made a lot of since to me ~ "in a church service the only part of the service that is TOTALLY FOR GOD is the WORSHIP!! The sermon or teaching is for us Christ's disciples but the worship is ALL FOR HIM!"

If we can get that message across to those that don't "get" worship can you imagine how the Spirit would fall in our services? I love worship! Always have! In fact it's so important to me that I keep the kids in service for worship before taking them to Children's church. I can't live without singing His praise even when I am at my lowest if I start singing praises to my Father something always happens and I end up being the one that is blessed.

So for those of you that don't like the worship part of going to church...GET OVER IT! What do you think we will be doing in heaven? Even the angels cry Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty! You better believe that is what we will be doing when we are standing and I believe we will probably be on our knees and face before Him crying out the same thing! Give Him praise here on earth is our practice time!

We fall down
We lay our crowns
At the feet of Jesus
The greatness of
Your Mercy and love
At the feet of Jesus
And we cry holy, holy, holy
And we cry holy, holy, holy
And we cry holy, holy, holy
Is the lamb
We fall down
We lay our crowns
At the feet of Jesus
The greatness of
Mercy and love
At the feet of Jesus
And we cry holy, holy, holy
And we cry holy, holy, holy
And we cry holy, holy, holy
Is the lamb
And we cry holy, holy, holy
And we cry holy, holy, holy
And we cry holy, holy, holy
Is the lamb

I believe...

You hold my every moment

Calm my raging sea

Walk with me through fire

Healed all of my disease

I trust in You

I trust in You

I believe, You’re my Healer

I believe, You are all I need

I believe, You’re my portion

I believe, You are more than enough for me

Jesus You all I need

You’re my Healer.

Nothing is impossible for You

Nothing is impossible for You

Nothing is impossible for You

You hold my world in Your hands

More than enough for me

Jesus You all I need

More than enough for me

All we need is found in You

For I know...

Found this song tonight. Was exactly the encouragement I needed! Hope it encourages you too!


Jeremiah 17:7-8
I will bless those who trust me. They will be like trees growing beside a stream-- trees with roots that reach down to the water, and with leaves that are always green. They bear fruit every year and are never worried by a lack of rain.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the purposes which I am purposing for you, says Jehovah; purposes of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Ten Way You can Prepare Now to be a Pastor by Guest Speaker Deanna Shrodes

From time to time I repost articles or posts from other bloggers. Today I have the priviledge of sharing this post from my dear friend Pastor Deanna Shrodes from Lifetime Intimate Portrait.
Enjoy as you read and learn:

*********************************************
Most people will tell you to listen for the voice of God, spend time praying, fasting and reading your Bible. That's definitely top priority, but here are some other things you can do to prepare.

1) Set your cell phone alarm to go off at all times of the day and night and interrupt you. When it starts beeping, don't just turn it off. Stop what you are doing for at least an hour, and do something totally different that you didn't plan on at all. Come back later to the project you were working on before. Finish it even if you have to stay up until 2 am.

2) If you are just starting out, make sure to stock up on ramen noodles, easy mac, and peanut butter and jelly.

3) Ask a few people to follow you around all the time, and find out what you're doing, who you're doing it with, where your family is eating, and where you shop.

4) Install cameras everywhere to keep a watchful eye on everything your kids are doing 24/7 to report back to you.

5) Plan something that will take a tremendous amount of help to pull off. Delegate jobs to all your friends and but instruct them that what they are really going to do is call you at the last minute with a bunch of excuses and tell you they can't follow through. Somehow pull off the huge event with just you and your spouse doing everything. Do this repeatedly throughout the year as you prepare.

6) If you are a man and your goal is to pastor a traditional church make sure your wife knows how to play the piano, and fry chicken.

7) If your goal is to pastor a contemporary church be sure to update your look to be as effective as possible on church advertisements. If you're a man, shave your head and get a pair of trendy glasses, jeans, and a crisp cotton long sleeved button down shirt. If you're a woman, get an outfit from somewhere like New York and Company and make over your hair in a style that requires a flat iron.

8) Invite your friends to call you up and email you at inopportune times, to criticize you for random things that are ridiculous "share things in love." Ask them to make those things as unexpected as possible - things totally in left field that you don't expect. Make sure that when they do this, you thank them, and keep a smile on your face. In fact, right after they do it invite them to go out for coffee and underscore to them how much you love them and don't hold anything they just said against them.

9) Start stopping by the local hospitals on your way home, and eat in the cafeteria just for fun.

10) Have your family members throw a bunch of bulletins, Sunday School papers, empty water bottles, an umbrella or two, and a bunch of other people's Bibles around your house. Schedule an event that evening at your house that requires it to be in perfect order. Make sure you will be the only one available to get it ready before that time. Clean it all up yourself and talk God while you're doing it.

These are just a few little starter exercises you can do to prepare yourself -- there are many more and perhaps I'll share them in days to come so stay tuned.




**ME again...unfortunately as insane as this may sound it is ALL true! You can read more from Deanna at Lifetime Intimate Portrait

Happy New Year! Well our church has started a 30 day fast. Sean and I have decide to fast everything except veggies & fruit. Which means Sean is only eating veggies cause he barely eats any fruit. You would think it would be easier than doing a true fast but it's NOT! I have really struggled the last couple of days craving meat. Giving up the pasta and breads isn't as hard as the meat. Anyway, so we started Monday and I decided that this year I plan to read through the whole Bible. Did it once about 18 years ago or so and decided it would be a great challenge for me.
So I have started with the book of Jeremiah. Which the first few chapters have been very interesting. In fact I almost decided I might want to read something more uplifting but once I really started reading and digesting what it is saying I am more ready to read it now than before. I think digesting what you read is important. Let it sink in and really think about what you are reading. Not just read through and say ok that;s done.
The Word of God is manna. Well when we eat we have to difest the food to get the nurishment our bodies need. It's the same as reading the Word of God. In order for your spirit man to get the nurishment it needs you have to think about what you have read and let the Holy Spirit speak to you.
Well that is what I have been doing this week. Let me tell you something the things that are revealed are amazing! I read through the first chaper and didn't catch it at first. But then I stopped and reread it. Guess what, when I stopped and took the time to let it sink in, I was WOWed.

The LORD showed me something in a vision. Then he asked, "What do you see, Jeremiah?" I answered, "A branch of almonds that ripen early." "That's right," the LORD replied, "and I always rise early to keep a promise." Jer 1:11-12 (CEV)

Do you see it? " I rise early to keep a promise!" NOT only does God keep His promises but He rises early to keep them! Hallelujah! Thank you Jesus! When it's time for Him to fulfill the His promises to us He rises early to do so! How can we even doubt that He will fulfill them when he reassures us that He will not only keep the promise but rise early to keep it.
That encourages me SO MUCH! You see I stand on His promises of healing, provision, guidance and protection. In Jer 29:11 He promises us that He has a plan for our lives one of hope and a future not evil. What we must realize that He has thought about our future and we can trust that He will rise early to keep that promise and will see us through what ever it is we are going through.
Thank you Jesus that not only do You keep your promises but You rise early to keep them. I am trusting you today for many things and know you will do as your has pormised us! Thank you Jesus!