Hiding Place

Today as I was going to to the store to pick up a few things I heard a beautiful worship song. I wish I had had a pen and paper to write it down but I didn't. So tonight I went seeking it on youtube.com with no luck. Sorta hard to find something without a title or artist. Anyway I came upon this video and the song is exactly what my heart is wanting right now. I pray it ministers to you.

Just Say It Series

I was planning to post every part of the series that Deanna is doing about what Pastors want to say and think but I have decided I am just going to post links to it. I may post the entire blog a few times like I did yesterday but if you are really interested in what she has to say as I am go check her out over here.

Just Say It!! ~ Guest Speaker Deanna Shrodes

Ok here goes - My dear friend Deanna Shrodes is starting a new series and it's great! I wanted to share it with you and so each posting on this series she will be doing I will be posting on my blog. She is a wonderful minister and friend. I hope you enjoy, are challenged and that your eyes are open and have ears to hear on this subject!

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"Just Say It!!"

Writing a series of posts on this topic has been on my heart for a while but I was just pushed over the proverbial edge last week to do something about it, so here goes. Recently we ministered at a wonderful church and the service went great and afterwards the pastors said to us, "Thank you so much for coming in and saying what we can't say." I hear that all the time when I preach at places. I hear it from America, to Africa, from small towns to large ones. Now, let me say I totally understand. This is how I lived for all of our years in ministry until we came to Florida. And I don't look down on people nor blame them for feeling that way or running the church that way. Pastors who wait for a guest speaker to come in and say what they evidently can't say are in abundance and are also in a very tough situation. Let me tell you, church people have NO IDEA what pastors go through. Did you know a survey was done of the most stressful jobs in America and pastor came in at #2. [The number one spot went to dentists. Evidently a lot of them even commit suicide or have breakdowns. The reason given was because most people hate going to the dentist and so they are used to people dreading coming to see them. Also, they are doing tedious work in a small space - people's mouths - all day long.] Over the coming weeks, I am going to do some posts about what your pastor wishes they could just bring out in the open and tell you, but some fear to. I want to share with you the ins and outs of what makes some of them very stressed out and what you can do to help them. In our previous pastorate, we would go through difficult situations of various kinds, just as all pastors do. A few times a year we would have a guest speaker and although we wouldn't tell them the problems beforehand or ask them to address certain things, Larry and I would pray out hearts out that the visiting minister would come in and "say what we couldn't say." (Translation: say what we would say if we didn't have the threat of World War III breaking out in the church, or being forced to resign because we simply laid the issues honestly on the table.) I remember at a previous pastorate how we prayed and fasted for a season, believing for God to speak to a guest evangelist to deal with some things that were current problems in the church. One lady had been giving us serious issues for some time. There were even times she would inappropriately interrupt the service. One time she had the gall to approach the pulpit when my husband was ministering and said, "The Lord has told me to take this service in a different direction." Of course he didn't put up with that and told her to sit down. She did but she would push the envelope constantly and it was so draining to deal with. We prayed that the evangelist would get a Word from God and deal with this lady. Lo and behold he called her out right there in the service and dealt with her! He gave her a word of knowledge and said, "you are out from under the authority of the pastors and have a critical spirit and need to submit to the pastors and he leadership of this church." We hadn't told the evangelist anything. This was a total God thing. And, the service where this happened the lady said NOTHING to show her true colors-- she was just quietly sitting in her seat. When all this was happening I was playing the keyboard in the background as he ministered and it was everything I could do to not show emotions as all this happened. I kept a poker face, and just stood there and played when the evangelist corrected her but afterwards when we went home, I jumped up and down and was leaping and praising God. So, why didn't I just deal with her? We were in a political hornet's nest. We feared for our ministry, our family, our livelihood. It's the place where way too many pastors find themselves. So, when I moved to Florida I said, "never again." I am NOT going go all year long with unaddressed situations, afraid to say it like it is, just praying that a guest comes in and "says something I can't." I thought, "I'll say it like it is plain and simple, and if they don't like it, I'll resign and go be a greeter at Walmart and hand out smiley stickers." Seriously. I am NOT kidding. And that's how I've lived for the last 7+ years! Occasionally we have speakers come in who will say things in our church here like, "Now, I'm telling you folks this...your pastor would probably like to tell you this but he/she can't do that..." and our people look puzzled as if to say, "what are you talking about? There's really not much if anything that our pastors would not dare to say." I do realize that many pastors are understandably afraid.. They aren't ready to pack their U-Haul and start passing out the smiley stickers and go on government assistance and then explain to their kids that they have no money for school clothes or supplies simply because Daddy or Mommy had to speak the truth about something in church. I get it...really I do. But I'm not afraid anymore and haven't been for a long time. So here's what's up. I'm writing a series of posts coming up..."what your pastor wants to say but can't." This is going to be so fun. Because a lot of people who are church folks across the nation and beyond read this blog and hopefully it will open some eyes as to what your pastor really thinks but might not ever dare to tell you. For those who wonder what my church people are going to think reading these posts, not to worry...they've heard all this already -- and more. And, they seem to want to keep me around for a really long time despite it. Or maybe even because of it...

Not here this week...go here...

I am not writing here this week. Not that I don't want to but I have been working on something special for another site. Pastoring Partners Network. It's a fantastic life line for you women who are pastors, PWs or women serving in the ministry in any form. I was honored to be asked to be a part of this wonderful online ministry by the founder, Deanna Shrodes. Not only did she ask me to be a contributing writer but also a board member. I have to say its very humbling to me to be asked to serve in this capacity. I love this ministry and I love the women who are part of this ministry. So this week I posted a new blog over here. Go check it out! It's good for everyone not just those in ministry!

Jesus Bring the Rain by Mercy Me

I was listening to the radio tonight and this song came one like 5 times within 2 hours. It really struck a cord with me tonight. Not sure why but it really touched my heart.

Here are the words:

I can count a million times
People asking me
how I can praise You
with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of
the clouds that may loom above
because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
suffering your destiny
so tell me
whats a little rain

Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing

I love it when I find a song that really ministers to my heart and also makes me say, "Yes Lord that is my cry tonight!" I have gone through a lot in my life, like a lot of people. But I have to say I would rather walk in my shoes than someone else's. Even the most well put together person has hurts and things they have gone through. I think I will chose to follow the plan God has for my life and if that means some pain along the way that pulls me closer to Him then I will face it with courage and hope, trusting Him for the outcome.

Guest Speaker Deanna Shrodes

This morning I went through my daily ritual of coffee and blogs. Yes I actually read the blogs before my quiet time with the Lord. But I can assure you that my quiet time with the Lord is coming and I am looking forward to spending time in the word and in prayer. But before I do that I had to post this. My dear friend Pastor Deanna Shrodes writes monthly for Take Root and Write. This months post is awesome. I so needed to hear this this morning! I believe all women do but especially women in ministry regardless of their position but especially for women pastors and pastor's wives. But I also feel that the other men and women in the church need to hear what is being said. So sit back and open your heart to the Lord as you read this post!

Vital Signs by Pastor Deanna Shrodes

"Stop the ministry! I want to get off!" How many of you pastor's wives have said that? Every friend I've got in ministry (and I've got lots of them!) have said that at least once if not a million times. Before I even go any further, I want you to say to yourself out loud, "I AM NOT ALONE!" If you don't believe that and still feel like you are, email me and say, "I feel alone." You don't even have to share any other details, just those three words if that's all you're comfortable saying, and I'll shoot you back an e-mail in a New York minute and reassure you the truth of the matter that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. One of the devil's biggest lies he tries to get you to believe is that you are alone. Let me give you some statistics from a survey that show you that you aren't as alone as you might think...
In the Enrichment Journal article, "Stress Management for Women in Ministry, author Joann Butrin says the following: "When pastors’ wives were asked to name the things that cause the most stress in their lives, the most common responses were: balancing the demands of the congregation with the responsibilities of raising children, being a supportive wife, keeping an organized household, and feeling guilty for not giving enough time for any of these roles. Other responses included: feeling frustrated at being relegated a lesser role while feeling the same call to ministry as one’s husband, feeling unappreciated in the support role of pastor’s wife, feeling drained by the constant schedule demands that go with ministry, and feeling isolated and alone due to taboos concerning friendships in the church."
Stress is a given when we accept the role of a minister's wife but that doesn't make it any easier. No amount of reading, training or even mentoring beforehand could ever prepare one for what they will face in full time ministry. I stopped to think about it the other day and realized I don't have many friends who are pastor's wives who haven't faced some serious physical complications as a result of stress. This is not only with pastor's wives at mid-life or older but even younger ones. I came to the conclusion, we can't hear enough about stress management!
The other day I went to a meeting for ministers in my area that was a mandatory thing for our denomination. I have to be honest that at first, I dreaded it. I was overwhelmed with a full schedule that day and had so much to deal with, the last thing I needed was a three hour mandatory meeting to add to the insanity that was my day. Once I got there, my attitude changed. Our presbyter (overseer over our area) had prepared a workshop on stress management in ministry. He shared some things I really needed to hear and be reminded of.
One of the first things he shared was that when a person becomes president of the United States, everything is monitored very carefully, from their diet to their sleep schedule, exercise, and even mandatory vacations! There are those who criticize because our various presidents have taken vacations and even during critical times in the nation's history but the truth of the matter is, during that time they probably needed the vacation all the more to hold up under the pressure. Our leader went on to say that they are very protective of the president because he must be able to function at his optimal best to lead the nation, and without these basics being well covered in his life, his health and safety is at risk. He went on to say that we in the ministry are front line warriors and very important leaders in our nation and how much more do we need to carefully "monitor all of our "vitals?"
In Mark 6, we see that the feeding of the five thousand had just taken place. A busy time of ministry had just concluded, for sure. Perhaps Jesus Himself was thinking, "stop the ministry, I want to get off!" We know this because in verses 30-32 in indicates he immediately called for a break:
"The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place." Mark 6:30-32 (NIV)
How long has it been since you took stock of what you are eating? Stolen away for some quiet time? Enjoyed some moments of solitude? Years ago a counselor told me I had better plan to do this for myself because no one else would ever be standing in line to do it for me. He was right. Church members usually have little regard for their pastor's quiet time and if you don't take a stand, nobody will. Pastor Perry Noble of Newspring Church in Anderson, SC, says the following, "I know WAY too many pastors who let the expectations and demands of needy, clingy church people (notice I didn’t say Christians) DRIVE them to a place of insanity and burnout…and then those same church people will stand around his coffin and talk about how he should have taken better care of himself."
This is so true. To share a typical and humorous story about this, a number of years ago a woman called me on my day off and said, "I know it's your day off but I needed to call you. We are having terrible marriage problems and I need to talk." I was expecting to hear that her husband had just left, or that she found out that day about an affair, or something of new and shocking revelation. Instead she continued on and told me about many problems they had over the years. I interrupted a few moments later and said, "what new thing has happened today or this week in this situation?" She said, "nothing." I said, "how long have you had this problem you are calling me about today?" She said, "Hmmm...well, since 1972." I said, "So this has been going on since 1972, nothing has changed, but you are calling me about it today?" She said, "Yeah, I just finally felt like talking about it." This was the "emergency."
Many in our church or ministries will not understand this. We are never going to get it across to everyone in an understandable way and quite frankly if that is our goal we will more than likely never achieve it or have everyone happy with us. But we CAN decide how to respond each day. A healthy response means that we monitor our vitals and take the time we need when we need it whether anyone understands or not. The other day our presbyter admonished us, "You've got to do this, or soon. . .cancer is coming for you. . .ulcers are coming for you. . .a heart attack is coming for you. . ."
That got my attention. I decided to come home and make a list of things I needed to more closely monitor. Some will understand, some won't. But that's okay -- we have to do what is right and take care of ourselves so we can take care of others properly.
Are you monitoring your vitals?

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Me here. Good stuff huh! Now go check out more of what Deanna shares daily on her blog. She is very straightforward and open and I LOVE that about her! She is a trooper for God and I cherish our friendship, her wisdom and her love for God and the lost. Love ya D!

Way to funny not to post!