Jun 17, 2018

Father's day BBQ

Today was my first family get together and BBQ. First that is with my new stomach, new way of eating. Well sorta, I'm still on clear liquids for the most part. I'm allowed yogurt but have to limit it. My protein drinks come first, then water and then I can have Popsicles, yogurt and broth. Broth...not a fan! But, my mom gave me a great idea, use chicken noodle soup, heat and strain. At least the broth will taste good. So I plan to do that for lunch and dinner tomorrow.
  So not eating when everyone was enjoying cheese burgers, chips, potato salad, and baked beans was kinda weird. More so for my family than me. My dad really had a hard time with me not eating. I had my protein shake and was fine. But he was really worried. I spent time explaining things too him and hope it helped him understand.
  Speaking of my daddy. He truly is the best. He and I had a rough relationship when I was a teenager. I guess a lot of girls do. My reasons wouldn't come to light till I was in my twenties, when I was going through counseling. I was molested by my parents best friend and an older cousin. I guess I blamed my dad for not protecting me as a young child but it wasn't his fault. I came to terms with that and although I have never told him what had happened. I did write a letter of forgiveness.  It really wasn't for him but for myself. I have in recent years apologized for being a brat as a teen and our relationship is better than it has ever been. I'm grateful for my relationship with him but even more so my heavenly father. It is because of his healing me of my painful past that I am where I am today, emotionally and spiritually.
 SO how does all that tie into my new life, well for the longest time...40 yrs... I used food as an emotional comfort. i can no longer run to food to smooth over my feelings. I must face them, write stuff down and work through what ever is causing me discomfort. Again having the surgery is a tool towards a healthier me in every way!

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