Jun 28, 2012


Does it ever get easier?  I mean seriously.  Life? Parenting? Relationships? All of it seems so hard right now.  I just want a break. I can't take much more!  So many thoughts keep flooding my mind and yet somewhere there is a very dim light of hope that wants to invade the darkness.  I just wish it would break forth and show the next steps. 
    Abba are you listening?
    Abba do you hear me?
    Abba do you care?

Now before you write and tell me he listens, hears and cares...I KNOW THIS!  I am just at a point of asking Him again!

Jun 27, 2012


"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."  Martin Luther King, Jr.
Sometimes, ok most of the time I sure would like God to shed a little light on the stair case! Shew it sure has been a while since I last posted.  Sorry folks I do mean to get back to writing. So much has gone on since I last wrote and in general I don't share all that much on here just what God has been showing me.  But I feel I need to just share today.   
   In the last month our family visited NY and our family there. I lost both jobs as well.  One was a temp job so that didn't come as a big surprise.  I was told I would have another project to work on in June so losing that job hurt us financially but God has provided.  Then just last week, my main job came to an end as well.  My main job was as a care taker of an elderly woman who happened to be my best friend's grandma.  Evelyn passed away and went home to be with the Lord last week. She was loved by all who came in contact with her.
     Needless to say this all came as a shock to me.  You see in the last few months we decided to make a huge step of faith and home school all 4 of our children.  Oh my!!!  What am I thinking?!  Actually it all started years ago when our oldest started Kindergarten and I had the desire then.  Only issue was I also had twin toddlers and another older special needs child that I was over whelmed with.  So now this desire is coming full circle and I am stepping out in faith to do this.   It is scary on my part because I want them to have the best and to be honest I do question my abilities.  But here is the awesome thing about this huge step...GOD HAS PROVIDED!  I mean ALL  the curriculum and He keeps giving me great ideas on other things to add to the school year to encourage their excitement about learning. So I know this must be His plan because I have not paid more than $30 on what we have for their whole school year.

    I know this because when my husband I started talking about it I started praying that if it was God's plan for our family to start out on this journey then HE would PROVIDE ALL we needed for each child and each grade!  God has done just that.

   When we made this decision I didn't know that I would lose my main job though (it was a weekend job that would not interfere with schooling). So now here I stand in front of the stair case and I can not see the next step.  I so want God to reveal the next step!!!  

   Lord I stand in awe of how You provide for our needs, wants and desires.  I do trust that You again will provide!  I stand on your word and believe You will do all You promise.  These are the things I am believing for... 
  1. Financial Freedom
  2. Healing
  3. Ministry Doors to Open 
  4. Own our own home