Happy Thanksgiving!

Make Your Petitions Know

ok Lord I have been taught to "make my petitions known" to You. So here goes...Lord I am asking you to provide our basic needs; shelter, food and clothing for each of our children and for Sean and I. I praise You for doing so and I trust You to continue. Lord let our lives glorify You. Let this season we are walking THROUGH glorify you. Despite the storms that blow...like Sean's car needing a repair that we can not afford...we shall praise YOU! Despite the storms that rage...like the bill collectors wanting paid and we have no resources...still we will praise You. Despite the thunder of the storms we are facing YOU SHALL FOREVER receive our praise. Lord as you have promised and we stand upon Your word, we ask that provide for our needs and cover the rest with your grace. As you provide we will give You praise...and should You chose to refrain we will still praise You!

Waiting! Patiently Waiting!

This poem was with my devotional today. It truly speaks to the heart of this season in my life, our family's life. Thankful to day for all He has done and all He will do on my behalf!

Waiting! Yes, patiently waiting!

Till next steps made plain shall be;
To hear, with the inner hearing,
The Voice that will call for me.

Waiting! Yes, hopefully waiting!
With hope that need not grow dim;
The Master is pledged to guide me,
And my eyes are unto Him.

Waiting! Expectantly waiting!
Perhaps it may be today
The Master will quickly open
The gate to my future way.

Waiting! Yes, waiting! still waiting!
I know, though I've waited long,
That, while He withholds His purpose,
His waiting cannot be wrong.

Waiting! Yes, waiting! still waiting!
The Master will not be late:
He knoweth that I am waiting
For Him to unlatch the gate.
--J. D. Smith

Not here today

So I was going to post something here to day but decided I really wanted to post it over here instead. So if you want to go to Pastoring Partners Network you can read up on Christmas Messes there.

Friends

I have the BEST friends in the world. Oh I have quite a few that are close friends, in which I have shared many of the best and worst life experiences. This week has been such a long week filled with disappointments left and right. In fact there have been times this week that I have wanted to find a hole and bury myself in. Oh I know you can't run from the problems in your life. In fact the best things to do is to place it in His hands and let Him deal with it. But this week was just filled with lots of sickness, closed doors, financial attacks (yes attacks because it is satan's way of distracting us the fastest!) and just sadness and not just from my own feelings. It seems as though our oldest has been dealing with sadness of missing his friends as well.
So today was a breath of fresh air for me. I spent a few hours with one of my best friends from college and her kids. It is always nice to just sit and talk. We always enjoy each others company and the kids all love each other greatly! Then later this afternoon, my other best friend came over with her son and we had a great time working on a project together for my parents and Sean's mom. I would share what I am up to but I am unsure if my parents read this blog or not. I will share in a few weeks. It's something for Christmas.
Anyway I am thankful for my friends today. They have been a true blessing through the last few months...year. Never take your real friends for granted!

Hold Me Jesus!

Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees
And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin
I'm singing hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

by Rich Mullins

Sigh....

Lord come to my rescue...come to our rescue!
We need you more than ever before!
We need you!!

Another Closed

Ok so the theme of this weekend besides sickness (since Friday I have had 3 kids get the stomach flu including myself and this bug is terrible!!!) has been closed doors. Not only did we receive a letter Sat about a church we had applied to ending the candidating process with us, but we received another word last night of the same nature. Just being honest here, a year of rejection when it comes to sending out resumes, answering a billion questions ~ some extremely personal, moving in faith believing God to open up doors to ministry here in KY and now being in a financial storm what seems to be full of hurricane winds is becoming draining. Despite all that we have endured the last year; the hurtful words and actions of other against our family, the transitions, changes, hard decisions ect... moving here was the best decision and we have a peace that passes all understanding. We know that we know we are to be in KY and that has not changed and will not change unless it is a God changed desire.
As for what is next...WHO KNOWS! Only God does. I only know that I will stand on this scripture for now...

“But as for me, I will look to the Lord and confident in Him I will keep watch; I will wait with hope and expectancy for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me." Micah 7: 7

As well as:

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans for a future filled with hope!” Jer 29:11

Closed Doors

This is my status on Facebook today..."Despite another closed door I will praise you Lord for keeping us under Your wing of protection and for having something much greater for us to do!" Yes I do mean it but honestly another closed door to ministry ~ REALLY?!? Seriously, what is it that these church pulpit committees are not seeing in all of his answers and resume? I just don't get it. Seriously I just don't get it. My husband is a great pastor, preaches the Word of God and doesn't stray from what it says. He doesn't twist the word, he is a man of integrity and he loves the Lord and his congregations with everything he has. I just don't get it.
I will praise the Lord, for this does not warrant anything else as a response except that. This disappointment is just another disappointment it's not death and it's not that He has forsaken us. He has protected us from something and apparently God has other plans for us. I just wish I knew what they were. I wish I knew how to encourage my husband because he is feeling very defeated right now. :(
Lord open the doors that only you can open and shut the doors only you can shut and in the mean time help me to help my husband!

Shawn McDonald - Open Me

So last night was a special night for one of my best friends, Marty. The ladies of her church which is becoming our church for now, threw her a surprise birthday party. I was so neat to see how much she is loved and supported, something I would have loved to of had in our previous ministries. It was just such a blessed night. One of her long time friends played the following song and said as she has watch Marty's life over the years this song is a a perfect life song for her. It really ministered to me and I wanted to share it with you. I have never heard it before but I can tell you it is definitely worth the time to listen to and let it sink deep into your soul.



Shawn McDonald - Open Me

Would You open up eyes, so I can see
Would You open up my ears, so I can hear
Would You open up my mind, so I can know
Would You open up my heart, so I could love You more

I want to serve You, my God
I want to give All of Me,
I want to serve You, my King, yeah
I want to serve You, my Lord
I want to give You everything, yeah

Would You open up eyes, so I can see
Would You open up my ears, so I can hear
Would You open up my mind, so I can know
Would You open up my heart, so I could love You more

I want to serve You, my God
I want to give You everything
I want to serve You, my King, yeah
I want to serve You, my LOrd
I want to give You everything, Yeah

Here I am with my arms open wide
Asking for You to come up, up inside
Won't You make me new, won't You make me true?
Jesus, won't You make me like You?

Would You touch my eyes, so I can see
Would You touch my ears, so I can hear
Would You touch my mind, so I can know
Would You touch my heart, so I could love You more

Won't You open me
Won't You open me, open me
Won't You open me, open me
Won't You open me

Word of God Speak

I know that I have posted this song on this blog before but today when I woke up it was on my mind and has been all morning. I think it's because my soul longs to hear His voice right now. I need to know what His plans are, I need His guidance and direction. I need to hear His voice say, "It's going to be ok!" "I got this!" I know He does but sometimes you need to hear Him say it, you need to feel His presence and rest in it. That is where I am today. I NEED Him! I need to hear Him and I need clear direction. Besides the up front issues we are dealing with financially and in this holding pattern concerning ministry (a place of rest right now is nice), I personally am working through some private matters that the Holy Spirit is bringing up to the surface. Ya know sometimes when you are open for God to touch and use you, impurities in the clay rise to the surface and must be removed.
Broken Potterie...the reason I named this blog this is because I want to stay broken (humble) before the Lord so that He can use me the way He needs to. But want Him to work out the impurities and hurts. But going through that process is tough stuff! SO today as I sit and wait on Him to speak to me I will rest in the knowledge that what was meant for evil in my past is meant for His glory now and in the future. Thank You Lord that you were in my past holding me, and you are in my present holding me and will be in my future holding me!

Thoughts

So many thoughts running through my head. Lord what are You up to? I need some direction. I need to know what steps to take next. Which way to turn, which way to go. Lord I will follow You, I trust Your plan! Just lead me and I will follow. Speak to me and I will listen. Give me the ears to hear and the heart to receive. I long to hear Your voice, I long to feel Your touch. I long to know Your heart for my family and me. Speak to me Lord! Give me clarity of mind to know Your plan.
Just my thoughts during prayer today...this week...this month. I love the Psalms and how David was so open and to the point when he prayed. He just said it like it was. Simple statements. Simple prayers. And God always heard him. God always hears us too...it's just the waiting for His answers that always gets me.

LORD I CAN'T MAKE IT WITHOUT YOU

Found this song by accident today...ok so maybe it wasn't an accident but I surely wasn't searching for it. I am not into gospel on a regular basis, I enjoy Bluegrass and Country though on occasion as well. Anyway I thought it was a beautiful song and really touch my heart today.

Needing You Lord

I started this blog as a place to just write out some thoughts and feelings. Things God is showing me and a place to just vent. Not many follow this blog and that is fine by me. Honestly I don't blog for others, if someone by chance finds it and something I write ministers to them that is great and if not that is just fine too. Right now is the toughest time we have ever gone through. Ok well one of the toughest. THE TOUGHEST was when we lost our first son. Right now we are sorta just out here. We packed up our family, resigned from pastoring the church in IL and moved to KY because we felt that is what God told us to do. We are holding on by a thread. Seriously we know God called us to KY. We have never been happier about being back "home" but I have to tell you there are many days I ask God, "Have we missed a step, have we missed what You were telling us to do?" We are barely making it financially! Well to be honest we aren't making it. I have not found a job despite all the applications and resumes sent out. Sean has finally gotten a job and we are ever so grateful for that but it is barely covering the rent and utilities. Forget about any other debts we might have. We have never been at a place like this ever and I HATE IT! Oh I know God is watching out for us and I know He is providing, I see it daily but this stepping out of the boat and walking on the water is the HARDEST thing I have ever done.
We have 4 children and I just keep reminding God that they are innocent bystanders in this walk that we have taken. They didn't ask to move, and they didn't ask for us to be in this terrible financial place. What were thinking 5 years ago when we decided to move from Florida to IL and now here....Sometimes I just wonder. My faith that God has a plan and is providing is not wavering I trust in Him. But that doesn't mean I don't wonder where He is right now in the midst of this journey that seems more like a storm.
Don't comment or email me telling me all the cliches like "He is there walking with you through this" or "He is the plan maker" or any other statement that is easy to say when you aren't walking through this or have never walked through this. What I need is to SEE God moving on our behalf in a BIG WAY! I need to see the break through. I am weary and need God to come and BREAK down the walls and open the doors! We are trusting Him to do this and to show us HIS plan because right now what we thought or think doesn't matter anymore. We need answers now and not tomorrow. We need a break through, we need a miracle!
God where are you?

In Your Presence

All day I have been singing this song, well the first verse that is. I just could not remember the rest. So I looked it up and found this video and the lyrics. I hope you will read and listen let the words sink into your spirit.



In Your Presence by Paul Wilbur

IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD

I WHAT TO GO
WHERE THE RIVERS CANNOT OVERFLOW ME
WHERE MY FEET ARE ON THE ROCK
I WANT TO HIDE
WHERE THE BLAZING FIRE
CANNOT BURN ME
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD

IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD

I WANT TO HIDE
WHERE THE BLOOD OF EVIL
CANNOT REACH ME
WHERE I'M COVERED BY THE BLOOD
OF THE LAMB
I WANT TO BE
WHERE THE SCHEMES OF DARKNESS
CANNOT TOUCH ME
IN YOUR PRESENCE OF GOD

IN YOUR PRESENCE
THATS WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD

YOU ARE MY FIRM FOUNDATION
I TRUST IN YOU ALL DAY LONG
I AM YOUR CHILD AND YOUR SERVANT
AND YOU ARE MY STRENGTH AND MY SONG
YOUR MY SONG, YOUR MY SONG

IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD

SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD

IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE, OH GOD