I started this blog as a place to just write out some thoughts and feelings. Things God is showing me and a place to just vent. Not many follow this blog and that is fine by me. Honestly I don't blog for others, if someone by chance finds it and something I write ministers to them that is great and if not that is just fine too. Right now is the toughest time we have ever gone through. Ok well one of the toughest. THE TOUGHEST was when we lost our first son. Right now we are sorta just out here. We packed up our family, resigned from pastoring the church in IL and moved to KY because we felt that is what God told us to do. We are holding on by a thread. Seriously we know God called us to KY. We have never been happier about being back "home" but I have to tell you there are many days I ask God, "Have we missed a step, have we missed what You were telling us to do?" We are barely making it financially! Well to be honest we aren't making it. I have not found a job despite all the applications and resumes sent out. Sean has finally gotten a job and we are ever so grateful for that but it is barely covering the rent and utilities. Forget about any other debts we might have. We have never been at a place like this ever and I HATE IT! Oh I know God is watching out for us and I know He is providing, I see it daily but this stepping out of the boat and walking on the water is the HARDEST thing I have ever done.
We have 4 children and I just keep reminding God that they are innocent bystanders in this walk that we have taken. They didn't ask to move, and they didn't ask for us to be in this terrible financial place. What were thinking 5 years ago when we decided to move from Florida to IL and now here....Sometimes I just wonder. My faith that God has a plan and is providing is not wavering I trust in Him. But that doesn't mean I don't wonder where He is right now in the midst of this journey that seems more like a storm.
Don't comment or email me telling me all the cliches like "He is there walking with you through this" or "He is the plan maker" or any other statement that is easy to say when you aren't walking through this or have never walked through this. What I need is to SEE God moving on our behalf in a BIG WAY! I need to see the break through. I am weary and need God to come and BREAK down the walls and open the doors! We are trusting Him to do this and to show us HIS plan because right now what we thought or think doesn't matter anymore. We need answers now and not tomorrow. We need a break through, we need a miracle!
God where are you?
Oct 16, 2010
Oct 4, 2010
In Your Presence
All day I have been singing this song, well the first verse that is. I just could not remember the rest. So I looked it up and found this video and the lyrics. I hope you will read and listen let the words sink into your spirit.
In Your Presence by Paul Wilbur
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD
I WHAT TO GO
WHERE THE RIVERS CANNOT OVERFLOW ME
WHERE MY FEET ARE ON THE ROCK
I WANT TO HIDE
WHERE THE BLAZING FIRE
CANNOT BURN ME
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD
I WANT TO HIDE
WHERE THE BLOOD OF EVIL
CANNOT REACH ME
WHERE I'M COVERED BY THE BLOOD
OF THE LAMB
I WANT TO BE
WHERE THE SCHEMES OF DARKNESS
CANNOT TOUCH ME
IN YOUR PRESENCE OF GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THATS WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD
YOU ARE MY FIRM FOUNDATION
I TRUST IN YOU ALL DAY LONG
I AM YOUR CHILD AND YOUR SERVANT
AND YOU ARE MY STRENGTH AND MY SONG
YOUR MY SONG, YOUR MY SONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE, OH GOD
In Your Presence by Paul Wilbur
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD
I WHAT TO GO
WHERE THE RIVERS CANNOT OVERFLOW ME
WHERE MY FEET ARE ON THE ROCK
I WANT TO HIDE
WHERE THE BLAZING FIRE
CANNOT BURN ME
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD
I WANT TO HIDE
WHERE THE BLOOD OF EVIL
CANNOT REACH ME
WHERE I'M COVERED BY THE BLOOD
OF THE LAMB
I WANT TO BE
WHERE THE SCHEMES OF DARKNESS
CANNOT TOUCH ME
IN YOUR PRESENCE OF GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THATS WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD
YOU ARE MY FIRM FOUNDATION
I TRUST IN YOU ALL DAY LONG
I AM YOUR CHILD AND YOUR SERVANT
AND YOU ARE MY STRENGTH AND MY SONG
YOUR MY SONG, YOUR MY SONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I AM STRONG
IN YOUR PRESENCE
OH LORD MY GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
THAT'S WHERE I BELONG
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD
SEEKING YOUR FACE
TOUCHING YOUR GRACE
IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK
IN YOUR PRESENCE OH GOD
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR PRESENCE, OH GOD
Oct 3, 2010
Thanks, Thanks, I give you Thanks!
Just taking a moment to say thank you Lord! Thank you for always being here for me. Through the small and large struggles, through the rain and the might forceful storms You have been here for me. You always provide! You always hear! You always come through! Lord even through this journey we are on I will praise You. I will do my best to not look at our circumstance and will look for YOU in the midst of them. Lord I want to see You moving on our behalf! You want the best for our family and You want the best for our ministry. We will wait upon you, seeking you for the guidance you have for us. Seeking You for the answers. For it is only in You that we have peace and it's only in You that we place our trust. Thank you Lord for the blessings you have bestowed upon our family. Thank you for the friends we have, for our family, for the job you have blessed Sean with. For provision. Lord we trust You will open the doors that need to be opened and close the doors that are not good for us. Jesus complete in us in this journey what needs to be completed according to Your will! Let it be done on earth as it is in Heaven! Thank you Lord!
The word tells us to count your blessings. IN fact there is a song we teach the kids... Count your blessings name them one by one, count your blessing see what God has done, Count your blessings name them one by one...
You see today I could sit back and dwell on the things that have NOT happened and have NOT taken place. But instead I am choosing to count my blessings...I challenge you to do the same.
The word tells us to count your blessings. IN fact there is a song we teach the kids... Count your blessings name them one by one, count your blessing see what God has done, Count your blessings name them one by one...
You see today I could sit back and dwell on the things that have NOT happened and have NOT taken place. But instead I am choosing to count my blessings...I challenge you to do the same.
Sep 24, 2010
Sep 22, 2010
Plain and Simple
Psa 70:5 ~ I am poor and needy, but you, the LORD God, care about me. You are the one who saves me. Please hurry and help!
I love how David puts it very plain and simple... “Lord God please hurry and help!” How many times have we prayed this same simple prayer? I know I have many times, in fact lately it seems this is exactly what I say, “Lord you promise to care for me, you promise to provide my needs from physical needs such as food to healing. Lord please hurry and help!” You see we are living out our faith in a very, very real way. We moved here on faith believing God has a plan and purpose for us here. We have been watching the Lord provide in every aspect of this move.
We prayed for a home that had 4 bedrooms and my heart’s desire was for a dishwasher. What did God supply? A home with 4 bedrooms with extra room that we plan to make into a big game room and a dishwasher! I had found a certain couch at a local store (in IL) and it was listed for $400 no way was I going to pay that. Went back the same week we were moving and got the same couch for $45! God provided again! We have been praying for jobs since getting here and Sean started a job this week. I have a few other prayers that will remain between the Lord and me but have faith He will answer them. Last night I was praying specifically for Him to provide for our needs. This morning Sean came home from work and brought this large bag in from work that was given to the workers, that was filled with snacks and juice boxes…all the things I needed for lunches for the kids! Thank you Lord!
Right now the biggest news I can post at this point is that this Sunday is a huge day for our family! You see we moved here without jobs or ministry. God opened the door to a job for Sean this week. On Sunday he will be preaching and after the evening service if the Lord sees fit and the church members believe it’s the Lord’s will, then we will become the new pastors of this wonderful church. It is all in God’s hands and we will wait and see how God moves. He has been faithful up to this point and we know He is going to stay faithful. Even if this door to ministry closes we must stand on His word and know He is looking out for our family and will open doors elsewhere.
So if you are reading this could I please ask you to pray with us and for us! For God to open the doors He sees fit and to provide for our immediate needs and without going into detail we have many. So as David says, “Lord you care for me, please hurry and help!”
I love how David puts it very plain and simple... “Lord God please hurry and help!” How many times have we prayed this same simple prayer? I know I have many times, in fact lately it seems this is exactly what I say, “Lord you promise to care for me, you promise to provide my needs from physical needs such as food to healing. Lord please hurry and help!” You see we are living out our faith in a very, very real way. We moved here on faith believing God has a plan and purpose for us here. We have been watching the Lord provide in every aspect of this move.
We prayed for a home that had 4 bedrooms and my heart’s desire was for a dishwasher. What did God supply? A home with 4 bedrooms with extra room that we plan to make into a big game room and a dishwasher! I had found a certain couch at a local store (in IL) and it was listed for $400 no way was I going to pay that. Went back the same week we were moving and got the same couch for $45! God provided again! We have been praying for jobs since getting here and Sean started a job this week. I have a few other prayers that will remain between the Lord and me but have faith He will answer them. Last night I was praying specifically for Him to provide for our needs. This morning Sean came home from work and brought this large bag in from work that was given to the workers, that was filled with snacks and juice boxes…all the things I needed for lunches for the kids! Thank you Lord!
Right now the biggest news I can post at this point is that this Sunday is a huge day for our family! You see we moved here without jobs or ministry. God opened the door to a job for Sean this week. On Sunday he will be preaching and after the evening service if the Lord sees fit and the church members believe it’s the Lord’s will, then we will become the new pastors of this wonderful church. It is all in God’s hands and we will wait and see how God moves. He has been faithful up to this point and we know He is going to stay faithful. Even if this door to ministry closes we must stand on His word and know He is looking out for our family and will open doors elsewhere.
So if you are reading this could I please ask you to pray with us and for us! For God to open the doors He sees fit and to provide for our immediate needs and without going into detail we have many. So as David says, “Lord you care for me, please hurry and help!”
Sep 19, 2010
Sep 17, 2010
Focus
~ The Bible describes it very well in these scriptures ~
"Keep looking straight ahead, without turning aside. Know where you are headed, and you will stay on solid ground. Don't make a mistake by turning to the right or the left." Proverbs 4:25-27
Something my dear friend Michele has done for me the last month and a half has repeatedly sent me a Facebook message of FOCUS! Just to remind me! Many times I needed that word because I wasn't focused and I wasn't looking at Jesus! i was too caught up in the worries of tomorrow, the what if this doesn't happen or does. The Bible tells us to :not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worries of their own." We took a GIANT leap of faith...in fact I have told many it has felt like we are jumping off the top of Mt Everest without a safety net but once again my friend reminded me, "God will never leave you or forsake you." He will be there to catch you and instead of letting you splatter on the ground He will help you to soar! It hasn't been easy to keep that focus through this walk of mighty faith we have taken but I gotta tell ya to see how things are unfolding and how His hand has been on every step is exciting! Thank you lord for just being YOU!Sep 14, 2010
UGH!
Seriously God?! Seriously? I get excited about something and then a wall gets thrown up that seems impossible to get through, over, around, or under. God you are gonna just have to push this wall down for me cause I just don't have the strength this time!
Jul 25, 2010
I know the plans I have for you
I know just what you're going through
So when you can't see
what tomorrow holds
And yesterday is through,
Remember I know,
the plans I have for you
I know the plans I have for you
I know just what you're going through
So when you can't see
what tomorrow holds
And yesterday is through,
Remember I know,
the plans I have for you
To give you hope for tomorrow
Joy for your sorrow
Strength for everything you go through
Remember I know the plans I have for you
I know just what you're going through
So when you can't see
what tomorrow holds
And yesterday is through,
Remember I know,
the plans I have for you
I know the plans I have for you
I know just what you're going through
So when you can't see
what tomorrow holds
And yesterday is through,
Remember I know,
the plans I have for you
To give you hope for tomorrow
Joy for your sorrow
Strength for everything you go through
Remember I know the plans I have for you
Jul 14, 2010
Do I Trust You, Lord
Going through some tough times, doing a
lot of wondering what God is up to.
Came across these song lyrics and they
really ministered to me tonight.
*********************************************
Sometimes my little heart can’t understand
What’s in Your will what’s in Your plan
So many times I’m tempted to ask You why
But I can never forget it for long
Lord what You do could not be wrong
So I believe You even when I must cry
Chorus:
Do I trust You Lord does the robin sing
Do I trust You Lord does it rain in Spring
You can see my heart You can read my mind
And You’ve got to know I would rather die
Than to lose my faith in the One I love
Do I trust You Lord?
Do I trust You?
I know the answers I’ve given them all
But suddenly now I feel so small
Shaken down to the cavity in my soul
I know the doctrine and theology
But right now they don’t mean much to me
This time there’s only one thing I’ve got to know
Chorus 2:
Do I trust You Lord does the river flow
Do I trust You Lord does the North wind blow
You can see my heart You can read my mind
And You’ve got to know I would rather die
Than to lose my faith in the One I love
Do I trust You Lord
Do I trust you
Chorus 3:
I will trust You Lord when I don’t know why
I will trust You Lord ‘til the day I die
I will trust You Lord when I’m blind with pain
You were God before and You’ll never change
I will trust You, I will trust You Lord
I will trust You Lord
I will trust You, I will trust You Lord
I will trust You Lord
I will trust You, I will trust You Lord
I will trust You Lord
Jun 29, 2010
Get up and stop bellyachin’!
How many times do we get ourselves in situations that are tough and then lay on the ground begging God to do something or blaming Him for the situation? When it was our fault the whole time. This is exactly what Joshua does after the Israelite army runs in fear from the soldiers of Ai.
I love how God answers this, just get up and stop it (my version). Ok so not when it is me He may be talking to but today during my morning devotional His answer actually made me laugh. It sounds like something I have said to my kids before when they have thrown themselves on the floor and lay there whining and complaining. Has God ever said that to you? He has me and I can tell you when He has I have not liked it one bit! A reprimand from the Lord is NEVER pleasant but if take what He says and follow His word His blessings will follow us. Later in this
chapter we read, “Then the Lord stopped being angry with Israel.”(Jos 7:26) But this did not happen until the Joshua followed the orders that God gave him concerning the situation that had gotten them to this place.
Our Heavenly Father wants only the best for us. It is our decision whether we will follow His plans for our lives. He is just like an earthly Father in that He disciplines us when needed, comforts us and loves us. Are you in need of a word like this today… “Stop lying there on the ground! GET UP!” What are you laying there complaining about? God has a plan for you stop complaining and start praying!
Joshua 7:4-10(CEV)
Joshua sent about three thousand soldiers to attack Ai. But the men of Ai fought back and chased the Israelite soldiers away from the town gate and down the hill to the stone quarries. Thirty-six Israelite soldiers were killed, and the Israelite army felt discouraged. Joshua and the leaders of Israel tore their clothes and put dirt on their heads to show their sorrow. They lay face down on the ground in front of the sacred chest until sunset. Then Joshua said: Our LORD, did you bring us across the Jordan River just so the Amorites could destroy us? This wouldn't have happened if we had agreed to stay on the other side of the Jordan. I don't even know what to say to you, since Israel's army has turned and run from the enemy. Everyone will think you weren't strong enough to protect your people. Now the Canaanites and everyone else who lives in the land will surround us and wipe us out.
The LORD answered: Stop lying there on the ground! Get up!
I love how God answers this, just get up and stop it (my version). Ok so not when it is me He may be talking to but today during my morning devotional His answer actually made me laugh. It sounds like something I have said to my kids before when they have thrown themselves on the floor and lay there whining and complaining. Has God ever said that to you? He has me and I can tell you when He has I have not liked it one bit! A reprimand from the Lord is NEVER pleasant but if take what He says and follow His word His blessings will follow us. Later in this
chapter we read, “Then the Lord stopped being angry with Israel.”(Jos 7:26) But this did not happen until the Joshua followed the orders that God gave him concerning the situation that had gotten them to this place.
Our Heavenly Father wants only the best for us. It is our decision whether we will follow His plans for our lives. He is just like an earthly Father in that He disciplines us when needed, comforts us and loves us. Are you in need of a word like this today… “Stop lying there on the ground! GET UP!” What are you laying there complaining about? God has a plan for you stop complaining and start praying!
May 18, 2010
The title of this blog
so fits how I feel right now. It just seems like the more I press in the more I am broken down. A friend of mine posted the following video/song on Facebook tonight and it states what I feel right now. I surrender all Lord I do I do! Despite what I am feeling and how crush I am I know you shall get the glory! Lord, I am trusting you!
Apr 23, 2010
My Heart Song today
Our God is Great by Chris Tomlin
Water You turned into wine
Open the eyes of the blind
There’s no one like You
None like You
Into the darkness You shining
Out of the ashes we rise
There’s no one like You
None like You
CHORUS
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
Into the darkness you shining
Out of the ashes we Rise
There’s no One like You
None like You.
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
BRIDGE
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who can ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
Water You turned into wine
Open the eyes of the blind
There’s no one like You
None like You
Into the darkness You shining
Out of the ashes we rise
There’s no one like You
None like You
CHORUS
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
Into the darkness you shining
Out of the ashes we Rise
There’s no One like You
None like You.
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
BRIDGE
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who can ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God…
Apr 21, 2010
Restore Me
by Jason Ingram
Restore me, I would have no way
But your's my Lord,
Restore me, like the eagle
Spreads it's wings and soars,
I will lift my faithless heart
To a God who's love is pure.
Resting in your arms I am secure.
Restore me
I lift my prayer to a God who waits to hear
Each groan that I call out in His Name.
I'm standing here in silence
I wait for You to speak
For Your whisper heals me with one word
Restore me, I would have no way
But your's my Lord,
Restore me, like the eagle
Spreads it's wings and soars,
I will lift my faithless heart
To a God who's love is pure.
Resting in your arms I am secure.
Restore me
I lift my prayer to a God who waits to hear
Each groan that I call out in His Name.
I'm standing here in silence
I wait for You to speak
For Your whisper heals me with one word
Restore me, I would have no way
But your's my Lord,
Restore me, like the eagle
Spreads it's wings and soars,
I will lift my faithless heart
To a God who's love is pure.
Resting in your arms I am secure.
Restore me
Edge:
You bring me love, You bring me peace
You lift me high on eagles wings
Restore me, I would have no way
But your's my Lord,
Restore me, like the eagle
Spreads it's wings and soars,
I will lift my faithless heart
To a God who's love is pure.
Resting in your arms I am secure.
Restore me
I lift my prayer to a God who waits to hear
Each groan that I call out in His Name.
I'm standing here in silence
I wait for You to speak
For Your whisper heals me with one word
Restore me, I would have no way
But your's my Lord,
Restore me, like the eagle
Spreads it's wings and soars,
I will lift my faithless heart
To a God who's love is pure.
Resting in your arms I am secure.
Restore me
I lift my prayer to a God who waits to hear
Each groan that I call out in His Name.
I'm standing here in silence
I wait for You to speak
For Your whisper heals me with one word
Restore me, I would have no way
But your's my Lord,
Restore me, like the eagle
Spreads it's wings and soars,
I will lift my faithless heart
To a God who's love is pure.
Resting in your arms I am secure.
Restore me
Edge:
You bring me love, You bring me peace
You lift me high on eagles wings
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