UGH!!! Pity Party/Meltdown

Yep having one of those days!  Seriously, it's not about exercising.  I did that today!  I do that every day.  It's the whole I want to eat what I want to eat and not have to think about how many carbs it might have or how it might affect my blood glucose levels.  For two days I have ate what I wanted and now I see how badly it does affect my glucose levels.
   UGH!  So I went through a bit of a pity party tonight.  Yep I did!  can you believe that?  lol!  I think we all go through those times.  But mine basically boiled down to this...what if I lose all the weight I need to lose and I am still a Type 2 diabetic?  What if I do all this exercise and lose the weight and nothing changes?  I  know that I will never be rid of the arthritis or the peripheral neuropathy.  That will still be here and those two things hurt.  Although I know losing the weight will help the arthritis the damage from the disease will not improve. 
   Just frustrating and honestly scary.  I worry that I will always be a diabetic.  Dagum why didn't I listen to the doctor 8 years ago?! UGH!  I am kicking myself hard, very hard.
   I am thankful that God is helping me with this adventure though!  Very thankful!