Goal Set and Acheived!

On August 22, 2012 I set out to change my life.  Change my health.   I set a goal to lose 21 lbs in 12 weeks.  I wanted to get down to 295 by the time I would return to see the doctor.  According to my scale on Sunday I hit and passed that mark!  I was at 294.5 yesterday morning.  To say I am excited is by far an understatement!  What's even better than that...I have 11 days till my appointment.  Which can only mean, I hope and pray that I will be even less weight. 
   So today, Oct 29, 2012 I am setting another goal!  I  would like to hit 275 by January 20, 2013.  That is 12 weeks from today, 24.5 lbs to lose.   Yes that means approximately 2 lbs a week.  Can I do it?  Hmmm I sure hope so!  So what does that mean to my exercise routine and eating habits...staying the course....increasing the exercise and just PUSHING FORWARD.

  I don't doubt that I may hit a road block, I might hit a plateau but I am not giving up, not giving in, I am going to beat this monster and win!

Blah Days!

Have you ever had those blah days?  Well I have and today is one of those days!  Actually I had a great day.  Took my kids with my best friend and she took a bunch of great pictures of them.  I am very happy with the time we took to do that and the results.
  But when it comes to dieting and exercising, I just feel BLAH today! Partly because I didn't do so well and the other part, just not really feeling all that well.  Feel very worn down mentally and physically.
So when it comes to days like today I take a day off.  A day off of everything.  I will restart again tomorrow and know that God has this in His hand and I am there too.  He is helping me through these blah days as well as my victorious days! 

Major Goal ~ SUCCESS!

I wanna shout it, from every roof top....I AM VICTORIOUS!!!!

WOO HOOO!  I have hit a major goal!  I have lost 51 lbs.  Yep I am now down to 297.  I am so excited and so proud.  despite the lose of exercising on my stationary bike I am still losing weight.  WOO HOO!  

But I have to share that it is more than just weight that I am losing.  I have lived my whole life with this false guilt.  That it was "my fault" that I was sexually abused.  That I am a failure.  I'm not worth anything and definitely not worthy of having anything good.  All lies from the devil!  God is cleaning me out of those lies.  I am worth it!  I am victorious!  I am beautiful!  I am NOT at fault for actions beyond my control such as being abused.

My God is doing a work in me.  Hence the name Broken Potterie for the title of the blog.  I am but clay in the master's hand and He isn't done with me yet! 

Injury

So this has been a tough week.  I have hurt my ankle which means no working out on my stationary bike.  That frustrates me to no end.  The funny thing is it's almost like God is saying, slow down and let Me help you through this journey.  Come to Me and let me show you how I want you to lose this weight.  I am ok with that.  I am realizing that I have been trying to do it all on my own.  I need his help with this.  So I shall rest the ankle, keep doing what I can do and trust that He will see me through this time.  Trusting Him to see me through.  He has always been faithful and I know He will be faithful with this as well.  Thank you Lord!

Hit the Mark

OK so a few weeks ago I ranted on about how I hated the scale.  Well I still do!  Honestly we have gone through a bunch of batteries just to figure out the digital scale was really malfunctioning.  BIG FROWN! Do you know what a messed up scale does to you mentally when you can't get an accurate number week after week.  It was driving me NUTTY! Needless to say this past week we went and bought a new, standard, nonelectric scale.  Sunday was my official weigh in and I am HAPPY to SHOUT that I have really reached a major goal!  I hit the 300 mark!  I have also lost 4 inches in key areas of my body! WOO HOO!  PRAISE THE LORD!  HALLELUJAH!

   Yes I am shouting!  I have fought hard for every single ounce and I am very proud of where I am at!  It truly has been a struggle to get here.  This week I am reducing my calorie intake down to 1000-1100 cals. a day.  I have cut almost all carbs out of my diet.  Let me stress when I say carbs I specifically mean potatoes, bread, pasta and rice.  All of which I love!  I LOVE Italian and Mexican foods and both are terrible when it comes to carb counts and what they do to my system.  So I have a friend that shared a recipe for a carb free crust for pizza and I changed it up for an enchilada bake tonight (left out the garlic) and it was to die for!  Oh, I can not forget the carb. free pancakes too.  (Click pizza/pancakes for the recipes.) Oh my I am in heaven with both and feel like I have splurged and I know I haven't!  It truly helps the mental part of this journey. 
  On an even happier note, my glucose levels have been a LOT better as well.  In fact I have had some numbers that were below 80 and that was shocking to me to be honest.  I haven't had numbers below 80 in well 4 years.  My goal for this medical issue to be completely back to normal, diabetes free and medicine free as well.  It has been done by others and since I am type 2 it is a big possibility for me.  I HOPE and PRAY!

UGH!!! Pity Party/Meltdown

Yep having one of those days!  Seriously, it's not about exercising.  I did that today!  I do that every day.  It's the whole I want to eat what I want to eat and not have to think about how many carbs it might have or how it might affect my blood glucose levels.  For two days I have ate what I wanted and now I see how badly it does affect my glucose levels.
   UGH!  So I went through a bit of a pity party tonight.  Yep I did!  can you believe that?  lol!  I think we all go through those times.  But mine basically boiled down to this...what if I lose all the weight I need to lose and I am still a Type 2 diabetic?  What if I do all this exercise and lose the weight and nothing changes?  I  know that I will never be rid of the arthritis or the peripheral neuropathy.  That will still be here and those two things hurt.  Although I know losing the weight will help the arthritis the damage from the disease will not improve. 
   Just frustrating and honestly scary.  I worry that I will always be a diabetic.  Dagum why didn't I listen to the doctor 8 years ago?! UGH!  I am kicking myself hard, very hard.
   I am thankful that God is helping me with this adventure though!  Very thankful!

Changing

 

Growing Stronger

Oh my word!  I have been doing crunches.  Started with 20 worked up to 30 and the other night did 50.  My 8 yr old daughter is helping me and she was counting.  I said lets go to 40 and she said ok.  So midstream I ask what number I am on and she says, "30."  When I got to 40 she and her brother were laughing.  I said, "What's so funny?" She then tells me, "Mommy you just did 50!"  UGH!  No wonder I thought I was dying!
  So last night when I asked her to help me (she holds my feet down).  She says, "Let's do 60!"  "UHM NO WAY GIRL!  Let's stick with 50 for a few days, my stomach is killing me!" I said.  She was like, "Well, where's the fun in that?!"    
   HAHA!  Crazy girl, it's like I have my own Julian from Biggest Loser in my house.  HAHA!

Not Gonna Do It!

Just want to be...

So the scale and I are friends for now.  LOL!  Seriously Sundays are my official weigh in day.  SO why in the world would I chose Sundays you ask?!  Well because no matter what it says my goal is to bring God the glory.  If it says I have gained or stayed the same I will go to church and worship!  If it says I have lost I will go to church and worship!  No matter what I know that I am NOT defined by the scale numbers.  Although I really do want it to say I have lost every time I get on it!!!
  Sunday was one of those days!  It said I lost!  WOO HOO!  In fact I have just 3 lbs to get out of the 300s.  Yes according to the scale I weighed 302.6 lbs.  Am I proud of that number yes and no.  Yes because I have lost 14 lbs since Aug 22.  NO because I can't believe I really let myself get this big.  I am just very happy that God is helping me with this battle and I will win.  May not be over night but every single ounce counts!
  "Thank you Lord for giving me the determination and strength to really do it this time.  Thank you that when I feel down and feel like giving up, You remind me that you are there helping me!  Thank you for just being there!~Amen!"