Searching for Jesus

The last week has just sorta flown by. My parents and one of my brothers and his family came to visit us for Christmas. It has been such a wonderful time for our family. But that's not what I really want to share about. Last Wednesday night was the church candle light service and children's play. It was amazing!!! Let me just say that right now, simply amazing!
But it was what happened before the service started that really caught my heart. You see we attend church with our best friends, Michael and Martha (Marty) Short. They have two children on autism spectrum as well. Their daughter, Lucy, bless her heart is very nervous and scared of large crowds of people and noise. Many children who are on the spectrum are. Well before service started it was rather chaotic in the sanctuary, we had people talking, hugging, laughing, kids moving around trying to prepare for the play, just nuts to be honest. As I was sitting there watching everything going on I saw Lucy pushing past people to get to the front. Now first of all that is HIGHLY unusual to even see her in the sanctuary and not upset by everything but there she was whispering about something I couldn't hear pushing past the people.
As I was watching her she went straight up to where the manger scene would be. By this time I was up walking towards her to help her if she were to get too scared by everything. That's when I noticed and heard what she was searching for. She went straight to the manager and was saying, "where is baby Jesus." "Where is baby Jesus?" She pushed past the people, past her fears, all in search of Jesus.
It has really had a profound affect on me and I have been pondering what I saw for the last week. How many times do we allow our fears to hinder us from finding Jesus in the midst of our circumstances? I guess the question is really for me..."what is stopping me from going forward and searching for Jesus in the midst of my (our) circumstances?" FEAR! Yes I said it, it's fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of what will be asked of me, fear of the emotional or mental pain that may come about if I do find Him. Oh I know He is the God of peace and healing. But sometimes the pain of the healing process seems to great for me to face. Just being honest here!
I don't know if I want to walk through the process of pain to get to the healing. I know I need to face it, come to the reality of it and break through it. I just want the healing to take place and not the painful stuff that goes with it.
For the last couple of years I have been picking out a word to focus on for the year. First year it was perspective and last year it was focus. This year I am still praying about but I do believe I know what my word is going to be and I will share it in a few days. It's a word I am struggling with so I am not sure I really want to focus on that one word for the year or not.
Anyway, I want to challenge you as I am myself by asking you...Are you searching for the Baby Jesus this year? or are you allowing the pain to stop you? I shared this quote earlier this month and wanted to share it again...
“We’re not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” –C.S. Lewis

CS Lewis Quote

Saw this posted tonight on Facebook. Thought this pretty much summed up my thoughts of this year...

“We’re not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” –C.S. Lewis

Line to See Jesus

With just two weeks till Christmas I am sure you have spent time shopping whether in the mall or in other stores. This Christmas for us will be much smaller than we have done in the past. Oh the kids will have a good Christmas when it comes to presents. Let's just say having large families with aunts/uncles, grandparents and friends that love your kids helps in that! This year for the first time in our marriage we will not be able to bless other families. Every year since Sean and I started dating and into our marriage, we have adopted a family in need and blessed them at Christmas with a food basket and with presents for each family member. Sometimes with multiple gifts.
This year we do not have that ability and to be honest it is breaking my heart! You see this year we barely have enough to purchase one or two gifts for each of our children. There are no gifts for friends or other family member. This year for the first time ever our kids were placed on the Angel Tree by someone at the school. I am not angry about it, humbled yes, sad yes, grateful yes. This has been the most humbling time in our lives. I can't remember if I shared the gift of a hair cut on here or not but a few weeks ago a close friend took me to get my hair cut. She just wanted to bless me, knowing that I could not afford to even go and do that. I was humbled by that and to be honest I was at a point of no hope, just sadness. But that hair cut really changed that for me. You see the gift of a hair cut made me realize that nothing ever stays the same. It was like a NORMAL event in life. Having things back to normal and being able to afford the "normal" things in life is something I am longing for. Things weren't suppose to be this way. I guess this is the new normal for a while and as long as we are serving God then He has a purpose for this season in our lives.
As you are out shopping for that "one perfect gift" remember the only true perfect gift is Jesus! A friend shared this song, never heard it before but it really is a beautiful song!