Dear God,

Lately there have been so many things that have come our way but this new situation is a bit unnerving. The prospect is exciting but I am a bit nervous. Do I get my hopes up or not? DO I start planning as if it will take place or not? SO many question I have today so many question I need guidance for. Is there anyway you might drop a message into my heart and let us know for sure.

Trusting in You is all I can do. SO today once again I place my trust in You knowing that every step you have planned and every step is ordered by You. Lord here me today when I say open the doors of heaven and pour out your love and favor unto the sitation we aer facing. Thanks Lord!

Ok God, I am not complaining here but being laid up in bed due to a concussion and back pain is not acceptable. I really need to finish CC. I have no much that needs done.
HElP me GOD PLEASE!!!

I'm Just Human

I am so frustrated. Why do people always think that a "pastor's wife or pastor" has to be perfect? Why do they put unfair expectations on us? I am ONLY HUMAN!!! Seriously, I get tired, I get frustrated, overwhelmed, disappointed. I cry, laugh, scream, jump for joy, shout my praise and scream my anger. I AM ONLY HUMAN! I am not a super mom, super wife, super pastor or super pastor's wife.

My house is never immaculate, never spotless, never dust free. Just the opposite! I have 4 children under 8 and yes we stress cleaning and organizing and keeping the house as clean as possible but when you have 4 tornadoes in one house - a mess is bound to happen.

What has prompted this outburst of mine...I am tired of being second guessed. Tired of people tell me I am doing to much or not enough. Yea I happen to agree I am doing too much at times but if no one will reach out, get their bums off the pew and minister to "my" kids then it is my place to make sure they are learning even more so in the house of God. Yes it is my place as a parent to teach my kids the word of God and I have no problem doing so. But when a church body (not the pastors) refuse to start a program that is very much needed to reach the community and I see the need then I must fill the need until someone else see the need and steps up to help.

Yes I believe sometimes having too many fires burning will cause the fire to burn out but right now this is what God has asked me to do. So why does the church body feel that they have the right to question or suggest what I need to do if they are not willing to pitch in and help. Specially when they are not doing anything right now to help in the church anyways.

People out there listen to me...do not criticize those in ministry specially those in leadership if they are putting their all into something, when you yourself are doing nothing to further the kingdom. Sitting on a pew every Sunday does not constitute that you are doing anything for the Lord! Constructive criticism is welcome at least I will listen to it, I may not accept it I may not like it but I will listen and I will mull it over. But I will not listen to a critical spirit when it comes to something the Lord has laid on my heart to do or start! I would not go forward with the plan if it wasn't from God. If I start something then its because God has been working on my heart and showing me what needs to be done. If it's from Him I know it will succeed. If it's not then I know it will fail if I am doing it for the wrong reasons.

Yes I am upset. I am human. I am pouring myself into the ministry the way God has called me to do and yes there are times I feel taken advantage of but it is when I feel taken advantage of that I realize my focus is inward and on myself rather than outward and on God.

It all boils right back down to perspective! It's how you see things. If I view what I do for the church as glorified babysitting then that is what it is and that is when my focus is not on God. But if I view what I am doing every week and all the hours of painting I have put into decorating and transforming the CC room as doing it unto God then its worth every second of my time. One child can change the world!!! If I can reach one child that child could change the world! That is why I do what I do and that is what my passion is about. So instead of criticize what I am doing and what to do why not pray for me and pray with God's strength, guidance and ability that I will succeed at doing this for God!