Being Persistent

Slow going but going.  That is how the turtle wins right?!  UGH!  I do feel like a turtle.  I am realizing that my speed bump wasn't just a bump but a hole, that has affected not only my physical movement but also my mental movement.  What do I mean?  Well before my back decided to freak out on me I mentally was pushing forward no matter what.  But since my back has gotten better my mental "push forward don't give up" thought process just has not been all that great.  I literally am having to "be PERSISTENT" in pushing forward.  I have to remind myself to go work out and not just work out (do as little as possible) but really WORKOUT (push through the pain).  The pain I am talking about isn't pain caused by injury but pain caused by a good work out.

   So here is to being persisstent!  Don't give up, don't give in, going to keep fighting and win!

One Word Challenge

For the last few years I have chosen a word to focus on and this year my word is:

The root word of persistence is persist.  One meaning of persist is to go on resolutely or stubbornly in spite of opposition. The origin of the word according to Merriam-Webster...

         Latin persistere, from per- + sistere to take a stand, stand firm

I love that!  "To take a stand, stand firm!"  Yep that is what I am gonna do this year with the journey to a healthy life spiritually and physically - healthy weight.  I shall reach my goals and strive towards what God has for me personally and as a family.

What is your word of focus for the year?

Simple Reminder

I hit a wall.  I knew it was coming.  So the last few days I have drastically changed my eating habits.  Tonight I had Chinese..yea I know, "WHAT was I thinking!"  Ha!  I was thinking I want Chinese food.  Got beef and broccoli and did not eat all the rice.   I will be back to the grind tomorrow and through the week till Thanksgiving.  Giving myself that day to just enjoy what the Lord has blessed us with...with in reason naturally!  It's just our family so I only make what we like...turkey, broccoli, green beans, mash taters and my husband wants stuffing.  Oh and don't forget the cranberry sauce.  For dessert, pumpkin pie and apple pie.  I will not be eating the carbs but will save a place for a piece of pie.
 Anyway with our dinner naturally we get the fortune cookie. This is what mine said...

   I think this is appropriate!  What do you think!  God sure does have a funny way of reminding us to stay focused!  Never give up!  Never give in!

Thanksgiving is Coming and I'm Dieting

Thanksgiving is coming next week.  I love Thanksgiving and I have SO MUCH to be thankful for.  But with this holiday that is always full of fattening, high calorie foods, it can be hard to make wise food choices. 
 A friend of mine is a leader for TOPS.  I am not part of this group nor is there one close to me to join.  She shared with me two links to two great articles on Thanksgiving and dieting.  I wanted to share them here with those that may be struggling through and wondering how they will handle the holidays.  I am sure these principles will work for Christmas parties and dinner as well. 

 10 Tips for a Thinner Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Weight Gain: Keep Weight Loss Goals

Struggles

 I haven't been writing and boy have I been struggling this last week. Struggling with my weight fluctuation up and down and with what I am eating.  UGH!!! Gotta get my focus back!  On a happy note I have still continued to work out every day and have even gotten back to riding my stationary bike.  Of which I am sure those that even read this find exciting.  HA!  Actually I am very excited about it because it feel great to be able to ride again.  Now I just have to pace myself as to not injure my ankle again.
  I have worked myself back up from 15 mins. to 35 mins. a day.  I try to do 15-20 mins. one day and the next 30-35 mins.  trying to take it easy on the ankle.  Goal is to get back to 35-45 mins. every day but Sundays.  Sunday is my day off from exercising and I am thinking I may allow myself that day to also just eat what I want within reason.  Gotta think on that one for a while though.
   As a Christian I believe in fasting periodically.  It's a way of getting closer to God, sacrificing for Him and to get my focus back.  Fasting can be used for a variety of spiritual things as well as physical.  I am really thinking about doing a 3-5 day fast where I only drink liquids.  I need to gain control of how and what I am eating.  I need to get my focus back and break the stinkin' thinkin' again.  Still praying about it but think this might be a perfect time to do this.  Saturday through Wednesday and then break the fast on Thanksgiving Day.  Hmmm.....we'll see!  Trusting God to show me His plan with this.

I Quit!

I quit!  Yep I quit! I am giving up to never do the same thing again!  I am never going back to the way things were!  I quit that life and have picked up a new one. One where I face the mountains and will tell them to move.  I shall over come this monster of obesity.  One pound at a time!  I am not throwing in the towel when the going gets tough.  I am not going back to the 300s.  Never again I shall over come and reach my goals.
   Speaking of goals, I did it again! I had a goal to bring my A1C down from the 8.0 it was in August and according to my lab work I had done last week it is DOWN to 5.8!  WOO HOO!!  Yes medicine plays a role in that but I have to say I believe that the exercising and the weight loss so far has impacted it as well.  I am proud of my accomplishments.  I am excited for what the future holds.
   This is tough!  VERY tough!  I have struggled with every step, every day I have to chose to eat right, to exercise and to not fall back into old habits of eating and thinking.  I have struggled this week up till today.  Having the results back from the labs just tells me I am making an impact for the good for my health.  I can't give up!
  My new slogan.....   Not giving up!  Not giving in!  Going to beat this monster and win! 

The Slide

What a journey I am on! You never know what you will encounter on a journey, good and bad, you may have to face both on a journey.  This week has been one of many emotions.  Some great, some not so great.  My attitude has not been the best and I have fallen a few times.  Fallen to the temptation of Halloween candy, carbs and just not wanting to exercise at all.  Attitudes and thoughts such as, "When do I get to stop exercising, why do I have to fight for every ounce?"  Just mucky thinking.  Then something happened! Something remarkable!  Something awesome!  Something that just proves to me that I have to PUSH through those mucky thinking days!

What in the world does this slide have to do with pushing through you wonder?!  EVERYTHING!  This is similar to what I faced at Kingdom Karnival with my children at our church.  It is a 24 ft tall slide that you have to climb to the top of.  Oh, it's easy you say, NO IT IS NOT! It was a true work out!  It was a climb up that thing and I had NEVER done anything like this in my life.  Not even in my childhood.  But I DID IT!  I climbed to the top.  Okay, let me back track a little.   You see I got half way up and my legs started hurting.  I was fearful I was going to injure my knee or ankle again. (I did aggravate the tendonitis in the ankle.) I was using the ropes on the sides to pull myself up.  It literally was like climbing for my life.  I even stopped and thought I can't do this, I am just going to go back down.  But when I turned around all of these kids (including mine) were there climbing up too.  Then this precious little girl named Kayleigh, who I just love to death, came climbing up to me and said, "You can do it Messa! I know you can!" It was exactly what I needed to hear! I climbed up there and then sat at the slide thinking WOW I did it!  I slide down and it was crazy fast.  But I did it!
   Kayleigh's words reminded me that God is FOR ME!  He will never forsake me in my weakness!  I know He is for me and He used Kayleigh to remind me that He is there saying, "You can do it Melissa!  I know you can!"  Thank you Lord for sending Kayleigh up to encourage me!

This song says it all.... God is for Me by Kari Jobe

Goal Set and Acheived!

On August 22, 2012 I set out to change my life.  Change my health.   I set a goal to lose 21 lbs in 12 weeks.  I wanted to get down to 295 by the time I would return to see the doctor.  According to my scale on Sunday I hit and passed that mark!  I was at 294.5 yesterday morning.  To say I am excited is by far an understatement!  What's even better than that...I have 11 days till my appointment.  Which can only mean, I hope and pray that I will be even less weight. 
   So today, Oct 29, 2012 I am setting another goal!  I  would like to hit 275 by January 20, 2013.  That is 12 weeks from today, 24.5 lbs to lose.   Yes that means approximately 2 lbs a week.  Can I do it?  Hmmm I sure hope so!  So what does that mean to my exercise routine and eating habits...staying the course....increasing the exercise and just PUSHING FORWARD.

  I don't doubt that I may hit a road block, I might hit a plateau but I am not giving up, not giving in, I am going to beat this monster and win!

Blah Days!

Have you ever had those blah days?  Well I have and today is one of those days!  Actually I had a great day.  Took my kids with my best friend and she took a bunch of great pictures of them.  I am very happy with the time we took to do that and the results.
  But when it comes to dieting and exercising, I just feel BLAH today! Partly because I didn't do so well and the other part, just not really feeling all that well.  Feel very worn down mentally and physically.
So when it comes to days like today I take a day off.  A day off of everything.  I will restart again tomorrow and know that God has this in His hand and I am there too.  He is helping me through these blah days as well as my victorious days! 

Major Goal ~ SUCCESS!

I wanna shout it, from every roof top....I AM VICTORIOUS!!!!

WOO HOOO!  I have hit a major goal!  I have lost 51 lbs.  Yep I am now down to 297.  I am so excited and so proud.  despite the lose of exercising on my stationary bike I am still losing weight.  WOO HOO!  

But I have to share that it is more than just weight that I am losing.  I have lived my whole life with this false guilt.  That it was "my fault" that I was sexually abused.  That I am a failure.  I'm not worth anything and definitely not worthy of having anything good.  All lies from the devil!  God is cleaning me out of those lies.  I am worth it!  I am victorious!  I am beautiful!  I am NOT at fault for actions beyond my control such as being abused.

My God is doing a work in me.  Hence the name Broken Potterie for the title of the blog.  I am but clay in the master's hand and He isn't done with me yet! 

Injury

So this has been a tough week.  I have hurt my ankle which means no working out on my stationary bike.  That frustrates me to no end.  The funny thing is it's almost like God is saying, slow down and let Me help you through this journey.  Come to Me and let me show you how I want you to lose this weight.  I am ok with that.  I am realizing that I have been trying to do it all on my own.  I need his help with this.  So I shall rest the ankle, keep doing what I can do and trust that He will see me through this time.  Trusting Him to see me through.  He has always been faithful and I know He will be faithful with this as well.  Thank you Lord!

Changing

 

Growing Stronger

Oh my word!  I have been doing crunches.  Started with 20 worked up to 30 and the other night did 50.  My 8 yr old daughter is helping me and she was counting.  I said lets go to 40 and she said ok.  So midstream I ask what number I am on and she says, "30."  When I got to 40 she and her brother were laughing.  I said, "What's so funny?" She then tells me, "Mommy you just did 50!"  UGH!  No wonder I thought I was dying!
  So last night when I asked her to help me (she holds my feet down).  She says, "Let's do 60!"  "UHM NO WAY GIRL!  Let's stick with 50 for a few days, my stomach is killing me!" I said.  She was like, "Well, where's the fun in that?!"    
   HAHA!  Crazy girl, it's like I have my own Julian from Biggest Loser in my house.  HAHA!

Not Gonna Do It!

Just want to be...

So the scale and I are friends for now.  LOL!  Seriously Sundays are my official weigh in day.  SO why in the world would I chose Sundays you ask?!  Well because no matter what it says my goal is to bring God the glory.  If it says I have gained or stayed the same I will go to church and worship!  If it says I have lost I will go to church and worship!  No matter what I know that I am NOT defined by the scale numbers.  Although I really do want it to say I have lost every time I get on it!!!
  Sunday was one of those days!  It said I lost!  WOO HOO!  In fact I have just 3 lbs to get out of the 300s.  Yes according to the scale I weighed 302.6 lbs.  Am I proud of that number yes and no.  Yes because I have lost 14 lbs since Aug 22.  NO because I can't believe I really let myself get this big.  I am just very happy that God is helping me with this battle and I will win.  May not be over night but every single ounce counts!
  "Thank you Lord for giving me the determination and strength to really do it this time.  Thank you that when I feel down and feel like giving up, You remind me that you are there helping me!  Thank you for just being there!~Amen!"

No Quitting

Batteries?!

Ok so today the scale is not my enemy BUT if those batteries are dying like they were a few weeks ago I am gonna be very upset!  Seriously, like 4 weeks ago the scale said I was the same weight it says I am now.  But two days later I realized the batteries were dying and it was completely wrong.  I am glad we can just pop the rechargeable batteries and recharge them or head to the store for more disposable ones.  Funny, when I am drained and need recharged the best thing I can do is head to the Bible and spend time reading God's Word and praying.  That always recharges me!  How about you?
      I have fought hard the last 4 weeks to get back to that number and today the scale said I hit the   mark.  Although I still do not trust it what so ever it does make me that much closer to hitting my goal for when I go back to the doctor.   I have six week to lose 10 lbs.  That is roughly just over a pound and half to lose every week.  It will take a LOT of determination and exercise.  It seems I have to fight for every ounce and I am willing to do that.  I like how I am feeling and I am positive the more I lose the better I will feel. Now if I could just get the arthritis pain in control I would be even more happier!
  
   "Lord pour your healing balm of Gilead over my joints and heal them.  Restore what has been destroyed but this terrible disease!" ~ Amen!

The Scale~ My Enemy

Sometimes I think the scale is my enemy!  I mean seriously why can't it just keep going down instead of the bouncing up and down!  So apparently since Sunday I have lost 4 lbs...yay!  Oh yea right!  Like I really believe that stupid scale.  I have a goal in mind right of where I want to be in 2 months time.  I really want to be down another 11 pounds by Thanksgiving. I sure would like to see that happen.  I am trying.  Exercising daily and have cut my calories back.  Although I went over my calorie limit tonight badly, that won't be happening again!  I have a goal and I have to meet it.
  So what if I don't?  Well I am not going to quit if that is what you are thinking.  I mean the Bible tells us, "He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it!"  (Phil 1:6) SO if God won't give up on me then who am I to give up on myself??
  " Lord show me what you would have me to do!  Show me what I need to cut and/or add to my daily journey to get healthy!  Give me wisdom, help me to make wise decisions and most importantly I ask that you heal my knees, feet and ankles so that I can do what I want to do concerning exercise.  Lord it is only by your strength and help that I can and will meet my simple goals and eventually meet the major goal.  HELP ME LORD!"  ~ Amen!

Encouraging Words

Sometimes all you need is someone to tell you they have been there and support you.  Thankful that I have people in my life that do that for me.  But sometimes you gotta tell your self the same thing.  So the last few days I have been thinking about doing something to encourage myself. 

 I came up with this! 

 It's a little hard to read but you get the point!  Keep fighting!  No giving up!  No giving in!  You can do this!  Your life depends on it!  But my favorite is "Don't look at how far you have to go, look at what you have achieved!"  Which is what my 12 yr old son told me to add to my list!   I am so blessed with great kids!  Thank You Lord!

Seriously??

Ok why is it so stinkin' easy for men to lose weight!  Seriously!  I am stuck att he same weight for 3 weeks and my husband keeps losing weight.  Don't get me wrong I am happy he is losing cause it is improving his high blood pressure issue but dang it I need to lose more than he does!  Trying to figure out what I need to do to lose more.  Maybe starve myself?  Nah but I guess I will need to cut more calories out.  According to Loseit.com I am suppose to be able to lose 1 1/2  pounds but eating no more than 2400 calories for my weight size.  Well I cut back to 1800 when I started losing weight and now I guess I need to cut back some more.  It is frustrating because I have given up so much but apparently I need to do more.